The Further Adventures of JQC Rock, JI.
Chapter Three: Shuminer takes a Powder.
Sometimes in my job you get used to the pain and violence. Take for instance that bell ringing in my head. It doesn’t help when a perp smacks you over the head with a two by four- or in my case, drinking too much Tequilla with that new JA (judicial assistant) at Tobacco Road. In either event, I woke up alone, and the bell was the phone. It was Sunday around noon and the Kid was on the other line.
“Kid, I told ya not to call me before noon.”
“It’s 3pm, Rock.”
“Ouch. OK, whattya got?”
“Maybe a break in the Hanzman case.”
I sat up in bed. Perhaps a little too quickly, as the room began to spin. So I slouched down, put the phone by my ear, and waited for the news.
“We lost a suspect. Shuminer dropped out of the race.” The Kid started yaking faster than my ears could keep up. Something about TV and Spain and Unicorn visions.
My head was swimming. I hadn’t expected this. In my line of work you try and expect the unexpected, but sometimes events pass you by.
“Kid, slow down willya. Come by my place. And bring coffee. Wait…bring two coffees for me, black, sugar, and whatever you want. And bring the Herald.”
I showered and looked at some dry toast, but my stomach couldn’t take it. I was sore. That JA had a few years and some new moves on me. But it was a good sore, if you know what I mean.
The Kid showed up with the Herald. And like a puppy wanting to go out, he sat there barely able to keep quiet while I sipped the coffee and read the article.
I was done and the Kid couldn’t take it any longer. He launched into a stream of consciousness about losing a suspect and having to start all over on the case.
I help up my hand for him to be quiet. For show, I shaked a few Excedrin out of a bottle and crunched them between my teeth, before swilling the whole thing down with the last of my second coffee.
“I don’t buy it Kid. I don’t buy it for one moment. Hanzman goes down and Shuminer takes a flyer on TV? It don’t ring true.”
“What are we going to do Rock.”
For once I was stymied. In this business you learn that there are twists and turns before you solve the case.
“This Shuminer thing is like Mastos all over again. Everyone thought Mastos did himself in, but I found the guy who stuck the knife in.”
The Kid nodded. “We studied that case in school. You were the only one who figured out Mastos didn’t do himself in.”
“Right. And I don’t like this Shuminer gal taking a powder on her own.”
“You mean she was forced out?”
“Could be kid. Only time will tell.”
“So what do we do now?”
“Wait. Time is our friend. Our true enemy has yet to reveal himself.”
“Godfather three, right Rock?”
“Something like that Kid. We wait until the Governor makes his pick, then we do a little more snooping around the edges, shake a few snitches down, and with a few breaks we can catch the guy who did this to Hanzman.”
“Guy?” the kid said.
“Guy or gal Kid. Either way, I’ll get em. “
Shumie and Heller running the blog
ReplyDeleteCristina gets a TV job and Shumie takes a jog
Now Petey's running the blog by himself
while Shumie can afford cigars off the top shelf!!!!
Rumpy, this JQC Rock stuff is gold I tell ya, Gold. I love it. Who took out Hanzman....was Shuminer forced out? Who will the governor choose? I can't wait for the surprise ending.
ReplyDeleteHere's my favorite shumie song:
ReplyDeleteshumie shumie coco puffs
shumie shumie shumie
hmmm...Rumpole out of town
ReplyDeleteJonathan Blecher out of town
just wonderin...
Blecher is NOT smart enough to be Rumpole.
ReplyDeleteRumpole is Richard Hersch (sp?) ! He used to write stuff like this for the Defender, FACDL magazine
ReplyDeleteAhh...the ol Richard Hersch canard?
ReplyDelete(if you look up canard, it is quite applicable to Sr Hersch, as it has meanings in aviation as well as meaning a false story).
I for one prefer the "Rumpole is Reizenstein, Shuminer, Lurvey, Lyons and Fingerhut cabal." Of course the Sneaky Pete references lately are a bit amusing. Sorry dear readers, but you have not yet begun to scratch the surface.
HR.
Has anyone ever noticed that the email address "Howardroark" and Rumpole's full name "Horace Rumpole" have the same initials "HR"? Could that be a clue?
ReplyDeleteNow you're thinking outside the box.
ReplyDeleteROSEN IS RUMPOLE!!!! I KNEW IT.
ReplyDeleteHOWARD ROSEN IS RUMPOLE
(C) Rosen Is Rumpole, all rights reserved. 2006-2007.
Reading these fictional posts by Rumpole makes me feel sorry for him. He obviously had some calling other than to be a lawyer and is now relegated to answering the call on the pages of this blog. It's a bit sad and pathetic. And really, they're not that good.
ReplyDeleteFear not 3:16 dear reader!!!!
ReplyDeleteWe are doing what we want and what we like, and without any modesty, and not withstanding your opinion, we do it quite well. Of course our 700 or so readers a day are free to leave and read your superb blog. Just post the link, and perhaps I will lose my readers.
I will accept without protest your excuse from running across the pages of this drivel. You have never read the blog, you would not watse your time on a bright sunny Sunday with reading the blog, you were merely checking on your multi-million dollar stock account when by mistake, instead of typing in "Charles Schwarb" you typed "justicebuilding blog".
Happens all the time. Don't worry.
Of course truth be known, we have always wanted to be Rick in Casablanca. Running a Casino, drinking too much, and in the end, doing the right thing.
Has anyone read David Markus' blog dated 5/31 under the "comments" section?
ReplyDeleteIlove the Shumie Shumie coco puffs song. My kids sing it all the time even though they don't know what it means. Sort of like Sarduy.
ReplyDeleteWhadda ya mean I'm not smart. I'm smart. I can handle things. Not like people think. I'm smart.
ReplyDeleteThe whole Sarduy thing died down. That's what happens with fads. They come and go. Personally, I like the Sarduy thing. I was going to name my boat Sarduy Seas.
ReplyDeleteSarduy for Circuit Court?? Now is the time for Sarduy to put his name in for the Shumie slot. Strike while the Sarduy iron it hot!!!
ReplyDeleteCouldn't let me get the last word, huh Rump? that's twice in a month.
ReplyDeleteI have always thought Rick should have taken Ilas, gone to the USA. D-day stopped the Germans not Victor Laszlo. Follow your heart. Rumple, write a book or run for Judge.
ReplyDelete6:10??? please explain. You are always entitled to the last word.
ReplyDelete7:39...Rick wouldn't be Rick if he sold out like that. As for me, writing is a definte possibility. But I have more cases to try, more Judges to make angry, more prosecutors to annoy. Its a long road that does not have any turns in it.
If everbody had a Shumie
ReplyDeleteAcross the USA
Then everybody'd be Shumieing
Like Miami-ia
You'd see him yelling at clients
and Illiana too
A bushy blonde hairdo
Shumie USA
Nah...nice try...but I like the coco puffs song better.
ReplyDelete4:56 Yes I have. I have received said document as well, although it was emailed to me and I choose not to comment. This blog will not become a sounding board for Mr. Thompson or anyone's personal fight against the bar or any other personal cause. That being said, to the extent the documents reflect on the REGJB they can go up.
ReplyDeleterumpole of the bailey is definitely abe of the bailey
ReplyDeleteEnough with the Shumie stuff. Enough with the Sarduy stuff.
ReplyDeleteWe all know the comments section is and should be about the Q.
Q is the word.
Q is the word that you heard
It's got groove it's got meaning
Q is the time, is the place is the motion
Q is the way we are feeling
You can keep up to date on all Q events with I on Q podcasts, available where all fine podcasts are downloaded.
Alan, first you and Cris leave me
ReplyDeleteNow the Sopranos are ending.
Bobby's dead
Silvio's in the hospital
they're after Tony...
I'm scared.
Chris, you suck. On behalf of TIVO using Sopranos fans, I beseech you Rumps, moderate away all comments that reveal Soprano plot twists.
ReplyDeleteUpsatirs at Tobacco Road @ 5:30 today-free drinks-fida.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to the adventures of Captain Pro Se. Its been two whole days and no CPS to get me going in the morning.
ReplyDeleteI bet the men in the white jackets took him away?
What is this case about?
ReplyDeleteJOHN B. THOMPSON,
Plaintiff,
v. Case No. 07-21256 (Judge Adalberto Jordan)
THE FLORIDA BAR and
DAVA J. TUNIS,
Defendants.
Why is the bar being sued and a sitting Judge? Is this guy pro-se or not?
Just curious.
now that shuminer is out, why isnt JI Rock looking hard at emas, bailey or sanchez?
ReplyDeletejust one word of caution rump/rock:
in Greek mythology, icarus flew too close to the sun....
you should think long and hard about snooping around.
Hector (The Godfather) Lombana and Former Judge Christina (Little Chris) Schuminer meeting this weekend:
ReplyDeleteGodfather Hector: How could you do this to me you ungrateful (expletive deleted)? Do you have any idea the favors I had to call in for you? Then you up and throw it back in my face.
Little Chris: Oh Godfather, please don't be angry with me. I will be even more important than I was. I'll be the talk of all of Latin America. I'll be bigger than Marilyn. Everybody will love me. It was an offer I could not refuse. Look at all the shopping I can do and write it off.
Godfather Hector: Yeah then what about me? You're getting to big for your little britches. But then again you don't need the schmuck anymore.
Okay, go with my blessing. Besides this Governor doesn't show me the love the last one did. I may have to lay low for a while. You know where to find me if you need me. Just remember you still owe me.
Little Chris: I will remember, Godfather. I know if it was not for you and the "The Boys" I would not have all I do.
Godfather Hector: I will find a new protogee. Maybe that Sarduy guy. Oh well, want to go get a Big Mac?
Little Chris: Sure Godfather, I'll buy the fries.
I don't know who is writing this "Godfather and Little Chris" stuff, but it's great. Now that she is leaving I guess it will end. Too bad.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about all these songs ABOUT Shumie, but here is one song I am sure Shumie is singing to his wife:
ReplyDelete"And when you smile for the camera
You know I love you better..."
TV in Spanish is really bad and Judge Shuminer having a television show will make it even worse. Did they not notice she has the personality of a mortician? She is cute, but dry and too anal to be on television. Her show will not be on for over 2 seasons. Mark my words.
ReplyDeleteAs a matter of fact, can we do a poll to see how long she will be on the air? I think we have a better chance for Hector to popped than for Shuminer to stay on.
Rock, I think you got confused. What you meant to say is that it was Mastos drinking with the JA and that you had found his own fingerprints on the handle of the knife sticking out of his back.
ReplyDelete