UPDATED TO INCLUDE SUNDAY FOOTBALL PICKS AT THE BOTTOM:
Because the SAO does not believe their attorneys (outside of Division Chiefs and Major Crimes) are mature and responsible enough to manage internet access at work, which is strangely similar to communist China and North Korea believing their citizens are not able to have unrestricted access to the web, we have waited to post this memo until the weekend, when the minions can peruse the pages of this blog.
MEMO TO THE COUNTY COURT PROSECUTORS
FROM: YOUR PAL RUMPOLE
RE: JAYWALKING.
Put down your SAO manual (pages 2-220: “I’ll have to ask my supervisor…I cannot do that without my supervisor’s approval….hey judge-only a supervisor can do that….bathroom break? I’ll check with a supervisor”) and read the following, because you young lawyers are really starting to get on our nerves.
Are we upset that you have been trained to be intransigent blocks of “no…no…no way..and no” ? No.
Is your limited ability to see the big picture getting on our nerves? Nope- we were once young and full of …umm…bright ideas to change the world.
What is really bothering us is the way you walk to court.
Every morning you troupe out of your confines on 14th street in little cabals of 3 or 4 and, pulling your boxes full of disorderly conducts, selling flowers without a license and possession of undersize Snook (“Put your hands in the air and step away from the Snook”) you traipse through some easement appurtenant, cross the street, and walk through the attorneys' parking lot on your way to floors 1,2,4,5, or 6.
Now we realize that the collection of Porches, Benzes, gleaming Corvettes, or tricked out Escalades may make your eyes glaze over as you struggle by on your once a month miniscule salary, but for those of us trying to get to Judge Murphy’s 8:30 soundings or Judge Pinero’s 8:00 am (!!) calendar,
YOU ARE IN OUR WAY.
THAT CAR BEHIND YOU WITH THE ANGRY ATTORNEY GLARING AT YOU AND MUTTERING THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH SENSE TO GET OUT OF THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD IS BEING DRIVEN BY US, OR ONE OF OUR COHORTS.
Hyped up on Starbucks, the adrenaline of your first court appearances (“the state is providing discovery”) flowing through your as yet unclogged arteries (just wait) you don’t seem to notice that there is a line of cars crawling behind you because your crew is spread out three or four across blocking the entire lane of traffic in the parking lot.
Granted some of the more lascivious members of the defense bar may be enjoying the view and plotting ways to lure you into conspiring combing and confederating in flagrante delicto, but for those of us married or just too old to care anymore, please strut your aerobically toned bodies somewhere else.
We just want to park our rusted heap and schlump into court.
Now, back to your SAO manuals: ("I’ll have to check with a supervisor before I can get out of the middle of the road your honor, its our policy.")
See You In Court, and hopefully safely off to the side of the road in the parking lot.
PS. Sometimes we do sneak a peek.
Sunday is Funday.
The Chargers travel to Buffalo as LD meets WM (willis mcghee). Take the under 43 as the bad weather holds down scoring.
The cowboys venture into Jersey to play the Gints. Still don’t think those boys are fer real. Take the Giants, give three, and have some xtra xmas money by Sunday night.
Jax at Fins-: Fins -1 and under 38.
Jets at Green Bay under 42 all the way.
Seattle at Denver under 43 as the Jay Cutler era arrives in Mile High, via an extended running game.
Was some lawyer from miami dating Gwen Stefani?
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, funny post.
Oh this is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIt is the March of the Penguins. They come out of their Imperial Headquarters like the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz. As they walk to Court they practice their direct exam:
"What happened"
"What happened next"
"Then what happened"
"Tell me what happened after that"
"Next, what happened"
Then there is the genius voir dire:
"If there was a law that said you can't wear a purple tie on Tuesday and if you did you would be drawn and quartered and have your eyelids cut off and left to stare at the sun could you find the defendant guilty."
State Attorneys just will not be satisfied until they are able to choose a jury without a trace of conscience. In short, they wish a populace to march to the same insipid and Orwellian tune that plays in their heads.
I am a prosecutor. Want to leave only college graduates on my next jury? I double-dog dare you !!
ReplyDeletedoes GED matter anymore?
ReplyDeleteRumpole you still have a pulse. Lets see if the numbers pick up this weekend.
ReplyDeleteLEt's analyze this brilliant prosecutor's comments:
ReplyDeleteHe writes--
I am a prosecutor. Want to leave only college graduates on my next jury? I double-dog dare you !!
Analysis:
"I am a prosecutor"-- This statement is made as he stares in the mirror, shines his little tin prosecutor's badge, and admires his relatively newly minted law diploma. ECCE PROSECUTORUS -- BEHOLD THE PROSECUTOR or PROSECUTRIX
Fetish of the College Degree -- When being a bully fails and the client does not cave in to "taking a plea", a case goes to trial. Now this is when the sh*t really hits the fan for ECCE PROSECUTORUS. He/she realizes his/her case sucks and no reasonable-minded individual (colleged-educated or not) could find a guilty verdict.
In the ultimate of blame-transference ECCE PROSECUTORUS looks down his long smug arrogant snot nose at the jurors who are not "college educated."
As they hold up traffic marching robot like with their wheeled carts
one hears (quite often) various cursing and mocking of the "stupid jurors" -- the very people who pay the salaries of ECCE PROSECUTORUS.
A double dog dare??
ReplyDeletePROSECUTOR SAID:
ReplyDeleteI am a prosecutor. Want to leave only college graduates on my next jury? I double-dog dare you !!
Let Us Analyze:
"I AM A PROSECUTOR" -- This statement is said while admiringly looking into a mirror after shining his/her prosecutor badge. ECCE PROSECUTOUS -- ECCE PROSECUTRIX (BEHOLD THE PROSECUTOR!!!). This is all accompanied by symphonic strains of Richard Strauss'-- Also Sprach Zarathustra (theme music of 2001 Space Odyssey).
ARE WE PUKING YET?
FETISH OF THE COLLEGE DEGREE-
Throughout history it has been the fault of the "Jews" or the "blacks" or "the Catholics" or "the Cubans" or some other hapless and totally innocent group. Now it is the "DUMB-ASS JUROR."
When ECCE PROSECUTORUS goes to trial (after his/her bullying failed) then the sh*t hits the fan. ECCE PROSECUTORUS stumbling through the trial loses because he/she had a crap case or was a crap attorney.
In the ultimate of blame transference ECCE PROSECUTORUS looks down his/her long smug conceited nose at the jurors without a college degree. Only college-educated people are worthy of breathing the same air as ECCE PROSECTORUS?
ARE WE PUKING YET?
It always amazes me how some of the same "professionals" who scream and yell in court about how unfair it is to treat all defendants the same way without considering mitigators paint all prosecutors with the same brush. Sorry, but that's just plain stupid.
ReplyDeleteThe fact is, there is good and bad everywhere. Further, many prosecutors (myself included) have/had no significant prior life experiences and learn perspective on the job.
Regardless of what you think of them, the prosecutors are performing a critical public service and at least trying to keep us and our families safe. They deserve a great deal of credit for that, particularly since they are so underpaid. Don't be so judgemental; you sound foolish.
Prosecutors do provide a public service, just like the police. They are a necessary evil in a free society.
ReplyDelete1) prosecutors are not a necessary evil. Sworn to first protect the innocent before prosecuting the guilty, they are a necessary benefit of a free democratic society.
ReplyDelete2) We have a bit of experience in picking jurrors. Anyone stupid enough to select jurror based on race,sex, religion, gets the beating at trial they deserve. After these amatuers pick a few juries and get spanked they will either: 1) quit trying cases; 2) wise up and learn that jury selection is the most important part of the case, and learn to LISTEN to a venire member's response, and evaluate what they say, and not how they look, accordingly.
the prosecutor crossed the road to get back at getting sand in his face in school or being poor in sports and to exact revenge; all subconsciously of course. as for the females-the uglier the more bitter.
ReplyDeleteRumpole, have you heard of global warming? Our planet is burning up. Sea levels are rising (Miami averages 11 feet above sea level). And all you can think about is driving your gas guzzler? Disgusting. Maybe you and all the other hotshot private attorneys with whom you claim solidarity should stop driving to work and start taking the Metrorail. Or the bus. Or drive a fuel efficient car. Or hop your fat ass on a bike. Or run. Walk to work. I don't care. But stop wasting our natural resources and killing our planet. If you're really so concerned about the constitution and a free society, you'd give a shit about the environment upon which all of our lives depend. There won't be a Fourth Amendment to defend if we destroy our planet.
ReplyDeleteCan someone please tell Carlos Martinez to stop posting all the articles he's quoted in to the FACDL listserve? Carlos, we get it, you're the anointed one. Good luck in '08, but the shameless self-promotion is getting a little tiresome. Besides, according to Rump's poll, it will soon be the Law Offices of Roderick Vereen. If you commit to calling it the Miami Dade Public Defender's Office, though, you have my vote (especially since Rod won't actually run - making too much money, I'm told).
ReplyDeleteAnonymous ranted:
ReplyDeleteRumpole, have you heard of global warming? Our planet is burning up...
Rumpole responds: 1) By making me wait while they waddle in the lot, my car -which is very fuel efficient-is burning more gas;
2) You are not a careful reader of the blog, or you would have noticed that I previously complained that Miami has stopped recycling, much to my disappointment.
Rumpole is mean, clean and green.
I would gladly bike to court if I had more time and was allowed appear in Bike shorts and a t-shirt and clips.
the college degree types can backfire too... particularly the ones you run and determine they are hiding that arrest they did when they were 19 some 11 years ago...
ReplyDeletenot too mention, then they could be a science type that overemphasizes the use of scientific evidence that you don't need to prove a certain type of case necessarily... in other words... sometimes the smarty pants ones, want to overanalyze everything in line with their 'intelligence'... and in their minds there's now 'reasonable doubt' all over the place...
Carlos Martinez from the public defenders office is worthless. He went from a "C" attorney with zero trials to Brummer's top assistant. This created a major power struggle between him and Rory with Carlos winning out.
ReplyDeleteIf he becomes the Public Defender, shame on the PD alumni for allowing it to happen.
rumpole
ReplyDeleteshame on you sir.
HOW BOUT THEM GATORS!!!
ReplyDeleteSee you in Glendale for the BCS National Championship Game
Michigan had their shot; now it's time for Conference Champ vs. Conference Champ; BIG TEN v SEC.
That's what I'm talkin bout!!!!!
Hi people
ReplyDeleteI do not know what to give for Christmas of the to friends, advise something ....
gators deserve but are not in ohio states class
ReplyDeletewatching well-toned prosecutors? come on rump. everyone knows the female PDs are much better looking.
ReplyDeleteever notice that every time an administrator from the SAO or PD is mentioned, 12 people say they "can't try a case."
ReplyDeleteThat's why their administrators.
why rumpole would you narrow your identity to the lawyers who park in the lot west of the courthouse? I park there and can name just about every other lawyer who parks there.
ReplyDeleteWho gives a hoot about what kind of car "private" lawyers drive. Truth is that most of you (Rump you too I would guess), would take a DUI for 1/2 a ham sandwich at the Pickle Barrel and would never try a serious felony. As a lawyer you should stop sending out your stupid direct mailings, paying kickbacks to bonds-people and earn a fee the honest way by having a client actually feel you’re worth a damn. But that would be too difficult; better to slam young lawyers starting out in the profession. Shame on you, Rump, and your small minded ilk. I really would like to know how good a lawyer you are, probably not very as you have so much time to waste on this blog. Do you try cases or are you just another bleed ‘em and plead ‘em type? I would bet the latter. You got most of the facts wrong on Brandeis to boot, you shouldn’t plagiarize it’s a crime—even If you only cut and paste! Read the opinion for yourself next time, it’s on Westlaw, that’s the place where you find caselaw.
ReplyDeleteYou are very angry. That's what happens when you are to much of a pussy to get out there and make it on your own. Instead, you hide in your government cubical every day counting the hours til 3pm when you leave home for Broward to avoid rush hour traffic.
ReplyDeleteI suggest we take this defender of the SAO newbees seriously. Whoever they are, they sadly miss the point attempted by the post. The point being that the SAO hamstrings its County Court Prosecutors, if not all the C’s, and even many division Chiefs, then the SAO expects them to do miracles when they are forced to trail against seasoned trial lawyers. Oh, by the way. Yes there are some of us that do prepare and try cases, and we are the ones who are often frustrated by the lack of discretion vested in these young-well intentioned prosecutors, who have to get approval for virtually everything under the sun. I believe many of these young folks are principled and do their darn est to resolve or dump a bad case - a case which is a clear miscarriage of justice and should never have been filed in the first place. But, then the screening unit is a misnomer and a joke, anything gets by this unit which virtually run on “paralegals” with little or no oversight from experienced attorneys. I am told and understand that all misdemeanors get filed - with no screening or review of any kind! Is this anyway to run justice?! In effect, nothing really gets screened! As for training, yeah right - the SAO needs to get Ben back from the Feds. So, to the offended defender of the SAO - I suggest you look at the SAO office, the criticism is well deserved, and voice your disdain at the lack of training and systemic deficiencies in the SAO, you may actually help make it work like it is suppose to. As for those defense lawyers described in the post - as money sucking and plead them whimps - I suggest what the defense bar needs to do is try all the misdemeanors and felony case which score non-state. I have to wonder what a better place for justice the RGB will be if the defense bar does push these cases to trial. I have got to suspect that the bench would loose patience, and finally address this nonsense of prosecutors making a plea offer and, in the same breath, threaten the defense with the infamous - “take it now or else” and if you take discovery or investigate your case all offers are off. Who the hell is teaching these young prosecutors, many of who have no idea of why they say this or the ethical responsibility of a prosecutor to do justice above all! Perhaps the training is coming from watching re-runs of Law and Order - oh well!
ReplyDeleteThe problem at the SAO is lack of training. Once a young prosecutor gets to felonies, his/her supervisor is his/her division chief. And yet division chiefs have caseloads of their own--of homicides no less. So their attentions are usually elsewhere. How many courtrooms are there where the division chief is ever even around, no less available to try cases with the C ASAs?
ReplyDeleteThe PDs are a lot smarter about this. They have the training attorneys, who can spend all their time on training Cs because they don't have case loads of their own. Then they have their As and their major crimes attorneys or whatever they're called try the homicides. A much more intelligent division of labor, if you ask me.
HOW BOUT THEM GATORS
ReplyDeleteNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME - BA-BY
First in Basketball and now a chance to be first in football - it doesn't get any better than that.
GO GATORS - BEAT THE BUCKEYES
"prosecutors are not a necessary evil. Sworn to first protect the innocent before prosecuting the guilty, they are a necessary benefit of a free democratic society."
ReplyDeleteRump, you are full of sh*t with that post. They may be sworn to protect the innocent before prosecuting the guilty, some may actually try although I think that's a small minority, most are prosecuting whatever comes along oblivious to the fact that police lie, cheat and steal to convict people regardless of their guilt or innocence. Too many officers have told me I may know the law in a Court but on the streets they are the law. That attitude, and the lack of a critical eye this SAO office has and fosters in its young prosecutors, makes me question just what justice it is they are seeking. I will continue to consider them a necessary evil in a free society.
Getting close to rock bottom in your posts today. Ugly + stupid comments galore!
ReplyDeletePissed at the world?
Need sex with another person?
Did you people spend too much on gifts already?
Hello. Good day
ReplyDeleteWho listens to what music?
I Love songs Justin Timberlake and Paris Hilton
A misdemeanor screening unit (MSU) does exist. However, the screening is minimal at best - usually reserved for those too poor to bond out. Some of those cases could very well get no actioned if they're bogus. As for other cases - since officers can file charges directly at the misdemeanor level, it would take an MSU ASA again in those cases to make a decision to nolle prosse an unprovable case or questionable case.
ReplyDeleteThere is no MSU in Miami-Dade for most cases. The SAO only files cases that cannot be filed directly by the police efficiently or where felony cases may be warranted (ie. DUI crash cases where a blood result is pending). There is no way the SAO could have a MSU without dramatically increasing its workforce. Further, a MSU would cost a fortune in law enforcement time.
ReplyDeleteThe Miami-Dade SAO provides as much or more training to its misdemeanor prosecutors as any other prosecutor's office in the country. The training at the county court level is NOT the issue. The training at the felony level is, however, weak. Unfortunately, the office refuses to adequately staff its training "division." Rather, it relies only on one or two attorneys and the DCs (many of whom are great trial lawyers but HATE managing and training others. Gee, I wonder why that doesn't work?).
ReplyDeleteStill, the real problem is turnover. These folks are promoted WAY before they are ready (before they learn the law, understand courtroom strategies, gain perspective, etc.).
Most prosecutors I worked with want to do justice. Some are misguided, others don't get it. Some just don't have the life experiences to draw from that would enable them to understand what's happening around them (it took my the better part of a decade to gain true perspective). Thus, I believe the SAO SHOULD restrict the young prosecutors' ability to plea cases and should encourage supervisors to consider lowering offers where appropriate. That though, is an incomplete solution as the "experienced" supervisors (ie. Chiefs) often are too junior to make the right decisions themselves. I remember when becoming a felony DC took 7-8 years. Now, it's what, 3-4? THAT's why things have devolved the way they have.
Obviously, the poor salary and benefits, student loans and other financial burdens contribute to the turnover. But, I'd argue that other morale killing factors are also important. Regardless, the turnover issue needs to be addressed before any of this can be alleviated.
Don Horn is the worst administrator ever. He has no idea how to lead that office. His policies are a joke and he is not smart enough to understand when it is appropriate to discipline and when it is appropriate to back his prosecutors. Kathy needs to fire his ass and bring is somebody like Talpins that had the ability to lead by example, who would work hard enough to set a good example, and, who was willing to take the time to meet with prosecutors to see how things were going.
ReplyDeleteTurnover is not caused by the low salaries, it is caused by mismanagement.
Its great to be a Florida Gator!
ReplyDeleteDon Horn is not the cause of the SAO's problems. He has the worst job in the office..........he's stuck dealing with the problems others caused and can't deal with.
ReplyDeleteThat is B.S. If Don was more capable, then he would be able to do those things compitently. He is not a problem solver. Other people could do that job far better.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Here are a few people that could do a better job:
ReplyDeleteAbe Laesar
Bobo the Clown
Mary Cagle
Steve Talpins
Homer Simpson
Reed Rubin
Mr. Smithers
Laura Adams
Hila Katz
Barney
Stewie
Little Bo Peep (even without her sheep) and,
Jerry Mouse (with Tom in chase).
Don is not the problem. KFR is. She's a terrible SA and we can do a lot better. There's a poll for you, who should be the next SA?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous said...
ReplyDeletewhy rumpole would you narrow your identity to the lawyers who park in the lot west of the courthouse? I park there and can name just about every other lawyer who parks there
NO I WILL NOT
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteWho gives a hoot about what kind of car "private" lawyers drive. Truth is that most of you (Rump you too I would guess), would take a DUI for 1/2 a ham sandwich at the Pickle Barrel and would never try a serious felony.
Rumpole says: You should know that you and most other individuals cannot afford my services. Why? Not because I am so great, but because I am devoted to giving client's my full attention. I do not have a high volume practice. I am against that type of practice of law. It offends my personal sense of obligation to a client. So I charge a lot, so I can spend time on a case, so I can do a good job. Thus, I do not take cases for 1/2 sandwiches, and I would venture that I try more felonies in six months than you have ever tried. But that is just my guess.
Anonymous said:
ReplyDeleteRump, you are full of sh*t with that post. They may be sworn to protect the innocent before prosecuting the guilty, some may actually try although I think that's a small minority, most are prosecuting whatever comes along oblivious to the fact that police lie, cheat and steal to convict people regardless of their guilt or innocence. Too many officers have told me I may know the law in a Court but on the streets they are the law. That attitude, and the lack of a critical eye this SAO office has and fosters in its young prosecutors, makes me question just what justice it is they are seeking. I will continue to consider them a necessary evil in a free society.
Rumpole replies: You and I and Mr. Laeser can distinguish a good arrest from a bad one, and a good case from a bad one. How do you expect a lawyer 6 months out of school to know a bad cop and stand up to them? Experience is the key, and that is why these prosecutors are in county court. The mistakes they make while gaining experience are much less likely to hurt someone.
That being said, I do agree that the level of supervision leaves something to be desired. They are over supervised but for the most part the supervisors are just as clueless as the people they supervise. The PD's office has very very experienced lawyers as supervisors in County Court. Is it too much to ask the SAO to have supervisors with 5 years exerience instead of 5 months, in County Court? Apparently.
And, in addition, the SAO has supervisors who openly, and quite without shame, admit that the SAO was involved in a practice which is obviously a violation of the law. Mr. Arrojo, we still have not heard you reasons for saying the practice is legal. What's wrong, a Fla. Stat. book got your toung?
ReplyDeletehow about for a tuna fish combo with a cookie of course.........
ReplyDeleteNO I WILL NOT?
ReplyDeleteRumpole, the comment was asking why you would narrow your id to those that park in that lot, by writing that post, you have narrowed your id to one of those lawyers.
Say what you will about the PD's office, but the training i received there was great. at statewide conferences the miami pd's were way ahead of their statewide counterparts. after just a few years at the pd's office i was able to leave and open my own practice, comfortable in the fact that i learned the foundation i needed to give my clients the representation they deserve.
ReplyDeleteas a side note, i went to a few statewide asa/pd conferences, and the miami asa's were also significantly better than their statewide counterparts.
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteNO I WILL NOT?
Rumpole, the comment was asking why you would narrow your id to those that park in that lot, by writing that post, you have narrowed your id to one of those lawyers
RUMPOLE SAYS: No I didn't. I take the bus to work on days when it is too hot to pedal my bicycle. Plus I park with the Judges.
there's an ASA in Ortiz (the short one) such a dick! Even Ortiz hates him.
ReplyDeleteMary Cagle's leaving the SAO was a tremendous loss, not only for the SAO, but this community. It created a major void in the SAO. Mary had a level of common sense, and was old school. She was straight, and endeavored to avoid abusive or vindictive conduct by the SAO. Jose Arroyo was a good choice and earnest effort by the SAO to fill the void left my Mary’s departure. But Mary had Kathy's ear, respect, and trust - she was Kathy's go to person to handle difficult issues. I suspect Jose, as deserving as he is, has not earned the same level of confidence from Kathy as Mary, and of course, the corollary of confidence is empowerment. The top echelon of the SAO needs tuning. Kathy needs to designate and empower a leader in that tier. A leader who understands this complex community; has credibility with the bench and defense bar; and, what is more important, one who possesses the common sense, determination, and pragmatism to do what is actually just and ultimately right - not what is politically correct or politically expedient. I think either Don or Jose possess these qualities, but they need unconditional backing from Kathy. As a Chinese proverb says - “an army of a thousand is easy to find, but, ah, how difficult to find a general.” oh well!
ReplyDelete12:05 is right. Don and Jose can lead the office IF KFR were to put one of them in charge. The big problem is that you have too many Chiefs, all of whom carry the same rank. The infighting is tremendous. KFR needs a clear number 2 empowered to do what needs to get done so the office can move more efficiently and the managers can start focusing on the ASAs instead of each other.
ReplyDeleteI hope the ASA's reading this chain remember this EVERY Monday when the over fed private attys stroll in with their ties crooked, feigning exhaustion from running from the parking lot next door or another court room only to beg for the breakdown THIS client deserves because he's cross-eyed, has natural HGN, can only walk a line in Nike Shox (not provided by the officer...obviously a prick with no conscience for comfort and accuracy in taking ten steps), is joining the Marines next week, has already taken DUI school prior to Sounding, and who would most certainly be found not guilty if only he had asked for an independent blood draw or breath test OR had the source code for the Intoxilyzer.
ReplyDeleteThese will also be the attys who will scream about their clients rights and boldly object when you ask for Restitution.
Remember their faces.
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