SHHS ITS A SECRET PART II

Before we get to the fun stuff, a reader gives a trial update for Tuesday April 18, 2006:

Today's results in the REGJB:
Two PD Nolle Prosse's during trial.
A PD not guilty in Shuminer.
A PD not guilty in Jimenez ROC court.
A private guilty to misdemeanor lessers in a career criminal case.
Bad day for KFR, Huh?

Rumpole says: A bad day, or a regular day at the office?

CASABLANCA--FORT LAUDERDALE, 2006. "You must remember this....a case is just a case...unless it's North Of The Border."

Today the Miami Herald reported that North of the Border Judge Carney admitted that there were secret cases in Broward and unsealed a civil case involving Dade ASA Michael Gilfarb's wife.

Long time readers of the blog know that in our wild early days, when we had no readers, we lambasted the Federal College of Cardinals for holding secret calendars even after the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals told them not to.

The District Judges Of The Southern District of Florida: Our Motto: “We do what we want, when we want….so long as the government is OK with it.”

Now, in an effort to follow their more prestigious counterparts, the Judges North Of The Border have also been outted holding secret calendars and cases. However, unlike the Federal College Of Cardinals, who when confronted by the secret court cases after the court of appeals told them to stop, said “so what?” the Judges North of the Border are taking a more comical approach which is well recognized by any defense attorney who has interviewed a client that does not want to tell the truth.

Lets us borrow from our favorite movie: Casablanca:

The Scene: “Dale’s Courthouse (similar to Rick’s Café, just a little smokier.)

Dale- the chief Judge and proprietor of Dale’s courthouse is bemoaning the fact that the Herald is writing stories on his secret cases:

Dale (sitting in an empty courtroom, the lights are dim, a cigarette sits in an ashtray curling smoke, and Dale is holding a drink. His eyes are bleary): “Of All the Courthouses, in all the world, those reporters from the Herald walk into mine."

(Dale's head slumps down and his fists pound the bench.)

[In the background a piano player quietly plays “as time goes by.”]


Dale (reminiscing to himself) “I remember when the Herald tore down those scum in Miami with their little scandal. I remember every detail. I wore Black Robes, the Reporters wore blue jeans. It was like when the Germans marched in to Paris. What a Day!

[In walks Carney, an employee of Dale’s, plus two Miami Herald reporters.]

Carney to Dale: “Boss, these guys think we have secret calendars and cases like the Feds have.”

Dale (loudly) “I am shocked, shocked to find out that there are secret calendars and cases in Dale’s Courthouse. And you can quote me on that. Its D..A..L..E.. R…O…S…S..”

(The two Herald Reporters scribble down the quote.
In walks a clerk and hands some papers to Dale and Carney.)

Clerk: "Here are the orders sealing those new cases you gentlemen wanted. Just sign above the line and put an X through the sunshine law.”

(The Clerk walks away and the two Herald reporters run after him).

Dale turns to Carney: “We can fix this. Blame in on someone else.
Quick. Round up the usual suspects!”


(A few hours later at Fort Lauderdale International Airport. It is dark and a fog has rolled in. A light rain falls. Dale (dressed in a raincoat with the collar turned up) and Carney stand on a tarp by a small propeller airplane. A copy of the Florida Constitution lays ripped up at their feet. Dale takes Carney by the arm and they walk towards the plane.)

Dale: “You know Tom, this could be the start of a long friendship.”

Fade out. Credits roll.

See You In Court. Just not North of The Border, where making fun of you know who gets you a 40 year Min Man.