BEST JOB ON EARTH????

Our Favorite duplicitously named reader, Gayle Gayle, sends this missive about judges, elections, and Dade County: Due to the length of the post, we employee a favorite technique and respond inside brackets [ ] in the post.

Hi Rumpy- did you catch the latest Florida Bar News-Dade County Judges crying in their beer about people challenging them for their judgeships [you can be sure that any judge crying in their beer didn’t pick up the tab at the bar]

-allegations that they are being targeted based on ethnicity and/or race or the ability to raise money-the arrogance-who are they to say they are the only ones qualified to be a judge [umm… they are the judge, so they're the ones to say it. Everything they say is tinged with the wisdom of Solomon] -who gave them the life estate just because in some time past they either had the political connections to be appointed or were of the right ethnicity to win an election – [if a judge wants a lifetime appointment, move to Broward, where even Judge Aleman gets re-elected.]

how dare they be offended when someone else thinks that they too might be qualified to be a judge and therefore challenges them in an election – [Listen Gayle Gayle- we like you, but lets face it. These people running for Judge aren’t necessarily qualified. They just are elect-able. And in truth, isn’t that always the reason someone runs for election? Sheesh, but If our name was Jane Schwartz-Hernandez, we’d probably run for Judge as well.]

yes the demographics of Dade County has changed-and yes an individual with a Hispanic surname has an advantage at the polls-but many of these sitting judges didn’t mind taking advantage of the demographics when they were in their favor years ago-[100% on the money with this zinger]

Judge Lando points out that if she puts in enough money in her account then she can deter someone from running against her-so by that logic money buys you a judgeship-[as Gomer Pyle used to say “surprise surprise surprise!!!]

well maybe ethnicity is the equalizer to money-why shouldn’t someone who doesn’t have the political connections or the money have a equal chance, at what former Judge Sorrondo characterizes as "the best job on earth"- being a judge-the problem could be solved with term limits for judges-two terms-twelve years-that’s enough time for someone to be on the bench-let other qualified people have a chance who as i have said before may not have the political connections to be appointed or the money to essentially buy a judgeship-the present judiciary would like to keep it a closed club -times are a changing rumpy -ta ta

Rumpole responds: It is human nature to try and close the door once you get in. Look, if we ponied up the 200 grand to run for Judge and won, we would be the first to support changing the system to merit retention.

As to Judge Sorrondo, we like him, we respect him, but we firmly believe the person who chooses the Playboy centerfolds each month has the best job on earth. Owning a Las Vegas casino ain’t that bad either.

This topic is always on people’s minds, but how much more can be said?

The fact is that its tough to make an honest buck as an attorney.

[Obligatory list of complaints to follow:]

Chasing clients for cash, swatting bondsmen away from hustling your clients to dirty attorneys is a constant headache; getting yelled at by JA’s (not judges but their assistants) when you try and schedule a hearing is demeaning. Waiting for 2 hours to see your client in the clean and comfy confines of the dade county jail (only to be told that “he’s escaped again” ) is not fun. Throw in support staff that needs constant monitoring, running a business, taxes, accountants, and who has time to read case law and try cases? Don’t forget the bar requires an immediate response to every disgruntled client’s bar complaint. (true story- one client filed a bar complaint, after a NOT GUILTY verdict because we didn’t return a phone call about getting his property back the following week quickly enough) and after 10 or 15 years of this hilarity and fun, sitting on the bench for several grand a month starts to seem attractive.

PLUS once you’re on the bench an amazing transformation occurs.

Amnesia.

History is re-written.

All of the sudden, you, as Judge, used to be the lawyer who tried more cases than Sy Gaer. You had clients beating your doors down. Every case had motions promptly filed, and you were ready for trial on the first trial date-every time. In the rare case that wasn’t tried (and won) within 30 days of being hired (when your large fee was paid in full) your motion for continuance was promptly filed, with copies served on every prosecutor and defense attorney within the 305 and 786 area codes. Plus, every motion had a full five page memorandum on the law in Florida, and cites to cases in the several nearby states, including wise commentary on how the supreme court would decide every case on its pending docket.

Yes, as we see it, the very best thing about becoming a Judge is what is does to your former career as an attorney. Becoming a Judge made you (as an attorney) the smartest, most prepared, hardest working, financially successful, trial lawyer who ever was.

Our concluding advice to our robed readers, is, that maybe Rudy Sorrondo was right. Being a judge is the best job on earth, or at least the best job in Miami’s legal community.

So Dear Robed Readers, buckle up, raise that moolah, and hire those political consultants, because every Tom, Dick, and Marisol is gunning for your job.

But if you do lose, just remember how great an attorney you were. Just recall all those lectures you gave from the bench about how easy it is to schedule motions for continuance on the Thursday before the Tuesday before the Monday following the sounding date. And just remember what it was like to have a Judge start trial at 4PM, and conduct voire dire till 10PM, and have you back in court the next day at 9:30.

See You In Court, doing what we love most.