INVENTION OF THE WHEEL

Unless you're a Republican teacher from Kansas, you know that at some point in our history Humans came down from the trees in Africa and became hunter-gathers. We began to work together, domesticated animals, planted seeds, made weapons from stones, invented the wheel, then Twinkies, and then landed on the Moon. Sometime after that we produced Baywatch and the Pet Rock. 

The oldest indirect evidence of wheeled movement was found in the form of miniature clay wheels north of the Black Sea before 4000 B.C.

But "Stable Genius's" disagree. 
Thus our Stable Genius, the President of the United States, said yesterday in Davalos, Switzerland (Motto: "Bringing billionaires together to brag for many years") the following:

'You know, we have to protect Thomas Edison and we have to protect all of these people that - came up with originally the light bulb and-- the wheel.' 

Now we know the President is all about America first and only America first.  He has no desire to protect foreigners. Inhabitants of the Black Sea be dammed. 

So the only conclusion we have is that...Americans invented the wheel! Hooray!

The light bulb. Tang. Nestle's Quick. The silicon chip. Tinder. Chewy.com. And....THE WHEEL.