JUST DON'T SEND THAT EMAIL

 As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday we know that the urge to send the 

"HAPPY THANKSGIVING 🦃" 

email becomes overwhelming to you, dear reader, and several thousands others who also have our email address. 

The result is that on a day we should not be thinking of work, our email inbox becomes flooded with emails from lawyers and law firms we barely remember, parroting all the nice feelings and thoughts about how much we all have to be thankful for. 

But let's be real. 

The real reason Dewey Chetum and Howe sends that HAPPY THANKSGIVING EMAIL with all the pablum about taking a moment to reflect on all we have to be thankful for, is not because they really mean it. What they want is for the recipient to say "wow what a nice bunch of lawyers, I think I'll send them all my PIP accident cases in 2025."

Rest assured, as far as Rumpole goes, NO ONE who sends us a HAPPY THANSGIVING email will ever get a referral from us. In fact, let's start a 

BOYCOTT ALL WHO SEND HOLIDAY EMAILS campaign. 

They do not care about Easter, or Thanksgiving, or Kawanza, or Shavout, or Christmas. It is just a not-so-subtle stupid bit of marketing which, as to us, makes us see RED. 

So stop it. Don't send that stupid email full of nonsense- which we know you didn't send anyway, but corralled some hapless intern in your office and made them send out the email bomb to every address in your firm's email address book. 

Send us offending email and we warn you now that we may publicly call you out on it on our blog and ask you to defend your holiday spam.  

Eat your turkey. Bet against the Giants. And enjoy the day off. And .... and we mean this ...

DO NOT SEND THAT EMAIL 

Happy Thanksgiving, etc. 🦃

THE GOVERNMENT MOVES TO DISMISS

Update: Mr. Markus gave us a shoutout and now we return the favor. He has a fascinating post about a debate between inmates and college students about life in prison without parole that took place in a DC Courtroom. His post is here.  (Or you can always Google "law firm on top of a garage" to find him quickly). 

Words not frequently spoken in federal court are "the government moves to dismiss the charges". Our unofficial survey concludes that it is 9.8 million times more likely that the government files a superseding indictment than dismisses the case. *

However, on Monday Special Counsel Jack Smith moved the district court to dismiss the January 6 government interference charges against the president elect because of the Justice Department's long-standing policy against prosecuting a sitting president. 

The main reason for the president elect having run for office now being over- he can quit right? 

Perambulating through the suddenly and decidedly unfriendly confines of Washington DC this morning, having not gotten a White House invite to the pardoning of two turkeys from Minnesota (which is fine as there have been too many turkeys from Minnesota around the nation lately) we came upon this- which may brighten your day. 

The background is that this is one of the last speeches Frederick Douglass gave. He spoke at the Metropolitan African Episcopal Church in DC in 1894. He was depressed over the state of reconstruction and the violent rise of Jim Crow after Lincoln's death.

It may be of some use in this troubled and turbulent times. The speech was aptly entitled 

The Lessons Of the Hour. 

I have sometimes thought that the American people are too great to be small, too just and magnanimous to oppress the weak, too brave to yield up the right to the strong and too grateful for public services ever to forget them or fail to reward them. I have fondly hoped that this estimate of American character would soon cease to be contradicted or put in doubt. But the favor with which this cowardly proposition of disfranchisement has been received by public men, white and black, by Republicans as well as Democrats, has shaken my faith in the nobility of the nation. I hope and trust all will come out right in the end, but the immediate future looks dark and troubled. I cannot shut my eyes to the ugly facts before me. 

Strange things have happened of late and are still happening. Some of these tend to dim the luster of the American name and chill the hopes once entertained for the cause of American liberty. He is a wiser man than I am who can tell how low the moral sentiment of this republic may yet fall. When the moral sense of a nation begins to decline and the wheel of progress to roll backward, there is no telling how low the one will fall or where the other may stop. 

 Time and strength are not equal to the task before me. But could I be heard by this great nation, I would call to mind the sublime and glorious truths with which, at its birth, it saluted a listening world. Its voice then was as the trumpet of an archangel, summoning hoary forms of oppression and time-honored tyranny, to judgment. Crowned heads heard it and shrieked. Toiling millions heard it and clapped their hands for joy. It announced the advent of a nation, based upon human brotherhood and the self-evident truths of liberty and equality. Its mission was the redemption of the world from the bondage of ages.

Apply these sublime and glorious truths to the situation now before you. Put away your race prejudice. Banish the idea that one class must rule over another. Recognize the fact that the rights of the humblest citizen are as worthy of protection as are those of the highest, and your problem will be solved; and, whatever may be in store for it in the future, whether prosperity or adversity, whether it shall have foes without or foes within, whether there shall be peace or war, based upon the eternal principles of truth, justice and humanity and with no class having any cause of complaint or grievance, your Republic will stand and flourish forever. 

* This calculation is entirely unofficial and based on nothing more than writing a number on the spur of the moment. 

LADY JAGUARS

 On this pre-thanksgiving football weekend we want to do something completely different. 

In 2012 reporter John Branch from the NY Times went to Carroll Academy in Tennessee to talk about their basketball team- the Lady Jaguars who were in the middle of an epic losing streak. The team was made up of girls (just becoming young women) who were sent there by a juvenile court judge. One of them had gotten into trouble stealing her mother's pain medicine- and never revealed that she did it at her father's request so he could sell the pills. 

Today- Sunday- is the story from the same reporter went back to see what had happened to the girls he had reported on. Not surprisingly their life has been tough. Drug use. Jail. Prison. In and out of recovery. Working fast-food jobs and living in shelters. 

What strikes us- what saddens us- are the pictures of these girls in school. The sweet promise and optimism of youth. The dreams they had. The desires for a better life; a stable life with a family. And then the things they wanted to do. The things they deserved a chance to try and do. 

They never really had a chance. Oh sure you can come up with one person who beat the odds every now and then. But the reality is these children- these beautiful souls- born into despair - never had a chance. 

You need to read this article. And we need to think about how we let our children down. It's more important than who wins and loses today. 

The article is here. 

We hope the faces and the lives haunt you like they haunt us. 

NOT PROSECUTE TODAY AGREEMENT

 The Illinois Supreme Court reversed the conviction of Jussie Smollett of filing a false police report. Prior to the successful prosecution that made headlines, the State and Defense had reached an agreement not to prosecute Mr. Smollett. In exchange Mr. Smollett had forfeited a $10,000.00 bond. 

Mr. Smollett had made an allegation that he had been attacked by two masked men who poured bleach on him and put a rope around his neck. The accusations had significant racist overtones. The police investigated and ended up believing that Smollett had manufactured the story- made it up. The Cook County (motto :"One vote per person, dead or alive") State Attorneys Office filed charges and then reached an agreement to drop them. 

Then a retired judge (it is always a judge causing a problem isn't it?) petitioned the court to assign a special prosecutor and Dan K Webb, who had previously been a special counsel in the Iran-Contra contretemps, took over the case, filed charges, and obtained a conviction after a trial. 

The Illinois Supreme Court held that a deal is a deal is a deal: Justice Rochford wrote that it "defies credulity" to believe that Smollett entered into a deal in which he forfeited $10,000.00 under the belief that he could later be charged.  The State argued at oral argument that- and we are not making this up- that Smollett's deal was only for him not to be prosecuted that day of the agreement - or as the lawyer said "a not prosecute today agreement".  Really. And they said it with a straight face. 

 The Illinois Supreme Court didn't buy it. 

Moral of the story- deals matter. A lawyer's word (other than from certain lawyers at the Dade State Attorneys Office) matters. 

Case reversed with directions to discharge the defendant. 

People v. Smollett, 2024 IL 130431 by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

A BREAK

 Mondays should not always be hard. So even if you're a judge under fire, a prosecutor who can't stop texting, or a defense attorney picking six or twelve hung over after a great Dolphin win, here's something that can bring a little peace in your life: 

Macondo Coffee!

Located just across the street from two of the three federal courthouses in Miami (and who goes to the King building anyway now that the Akins Courthouse is newly refurbished?) Macondo coffee is the real deal!

We love their power bowls and flat bread pizzas for lunch. For breakfast they have this egg dish called Campesina Casserole which is served in a cast-iron pan, with melted cheese sizzling on top and maduros (literally "like bananas, but not really")  mixed into the eggs. With a strong Americano, it is the best way to start the day before fighting with the feds. 

Whoever thought putting a high-quality coffee shop that serves great food just across from the courthouse would be a recipe for success?

Rumpole's fav booth is on the right as you walk in - look for us!

The next time you are there, grab a few coffees and pastries, and go see your fav federal blogger- he's in the office on top of the garage. Some people park in garages. A few work in them (like Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak who started Apple in a garage) and some work on top of them. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US

 The Blog is 19 years old. We can vote and fight in a war. 

We've actually done both. 

SHOULD JUDGE MILLER RESIGN?

 The facts are pretty much known now. Indeed, Newsweek has picked up the Miami Herald story and run it nationwide. 

While sitting on the appellate court in Miami, Judge Bronwyn Miller had on an on-going text correspondence (and perhaps multiple phone calls) with the elected State Attorney about the Corey Smith case where Judge Miller is a witness. She did this while other prosecutors went into court and told circuit court judges that Judge Miller was not speaking with anyone without a subpoena- which was a bold-faced lie to the court. 

Judge Miller reviewed the appellate brief of the Attorney General in the Smith case and told the elected State Attorney the problems in the brief and changes to be made. This is a shocking breach of ethics if not morals. Although not assigned to the case, upon her elevation to the Third District Court of Appeals, Judge Miller had to have abandoned any pretense of advocacy for any side in any case. Even where her Court would have ruled against a case she prosecuted, Judge Miller was required- in our considered opinion- to want only that her Court reach the correct decision- even if that decision negatively opined about  her prior work as a prosecutor. Such is the exalted role of an Appellate Judge- in our opinion. Essentially sacrificing her personal opinions and feelings for the desire only that her Court get it right-even if she- in her prior position- "loses".  Judge Miller did not do this- she in fact did the opposite. 

And finally, Judge Miller opined against the ethics of defense attorneys in general, giving rise, in our opinion, to the well-founded belief that she cannot be fair in any criminal case moving forward. 

Any- and we do mean any- first year assistant public defender has more ethical decency in their pinky than Michael Von Zamft demonstrated as a prosecutor in the Dade County State Attorneys Office. How could she possibly denigrate the ethics of our profession in light of what we all know MVZ did? Such a statement was shocking in its ignorance and disrespect for our profession. A profession that hands out an award named after President John Adams in honor of his defense of British Soldiers accused of murder in Boston.  A profession that routinely goes into court and saves the lives of wrongly convicted men and women when their actions are ridiculed and viewed with skepticism- until they show that they are right, and the system got it wrong. 

  Judge Miller was elevated to the most rarified air of the bench- the appellate court. Her actions are indefensible, and she has, in our opinion, forfeited the right to serve in such an exalted and important role. 

That is our opinion. 

What say you? 

SHAME

Shame has fallen on Miami, the Miami State Attorneys Office, The REGJB, State Attorney Katherine Fernandez Rundle, and Third DCA Judge Bronwyn Miller.

As the Miami Herald is reporting, and all of the REGJB knew on Friday, there are a series of text messages between the State Attorney and Judge Miller.  

The Herald Article and the text messages are here.

Why is this shameful? 

Judge Miller was a prosecutor on the Corey Smith case, and Fernandez-Rundle is the elected prosecutor. And it is not as if this is any case. It is a case that has brought the Miami SAO to the edge of ruin, with disgusting stories of prosecutors manufacturing testimony, and then lying to the Court about it. 

Judge Miller, before she was a judge was part of the prosecution team, along with now thoroughly disgraced prosecutor Michael Von Zamft, who ran out of state, and may find that he has not run far enough as his misdeeds continue to be reported. This means that Judge Miller is a witness in the current Corey Smith saga. 

And of all the people on earth that maybe our state attorney should not be texting with, perhaps Judge Miller should have been at the top of that list. 

But alas, the two could not stop texting each other like a couple of misguided magpies. They texted. They gossiped. They trashed colleagues- judges and lawyers (defense attorneys in particular)- and Judge Miller speculated about the whole sordid mess being shut down by the Governor, as well as whether Judge Wolfson- who ruled against the prosecution after MVZ was caught lying- could be removed- allowing a successor judge to review all of Wolfson's rulings. 

Among other gems in the texts is Judge Miller trashing defense attorneys as having a lower standard of ethics than prosecutors. Well on that point she has us. Unlike her colleague MVZ and the office she worked for, defense attorneys have not coached witnesses to lie in first degree murder cases and arranged for witnesses in custody to be brought to a police station so they could have sex with their significant (or insignificant) others. We don't do things like that- shame on us. 

One wonders how Judge Miller ever sits on another criminal appeal, her bias towards Ms. Fernandez-Rundel's office and against defense attorneys now well established beyond what is needed for any defendant to have a well-founded fear that she cannot be fair and should be recused.

And perhaps, just perhaps, in a case where the Dade SAO has already been CAUGHT tampering with witnesses in a first degree murder case and coordinating and manufacturing their testimony- Judge Miller and Ms. Fernandez-Rundle crossed a line. 

Time will tell. 

Query: How can you tell if  MVZ is lying?  A: He's speaking.  Here's a gem from the Herald article: 

Von Zamft told the court that Miller wouldn’t speak to either side without a subpoena. By then, the texts show she had communicated with him and Fernandez Rundle, and texted about calling two other prosecutors.

Somewhere Alex Michaels is saying "I told you so."  (In his Romanian accent of course). 

The texts will be analyzed and scrutinized like the Dead Sea Scrolls, or the Shroud of Tourin, or the election lawsuits of 2020. 

A special prosecutor needs to be appointed. 

A blue-ribbon commission of respected Dade Lawyers and retired judges needs to be empaneled with subpoena power to get to the bottom of this dirty mess that has broken the once proud Miami Dade State Attorneys Office. Their reputation is in tatters.  If they tell you the sun has arisen, you cannot believe them. They have no moral guidance, are running scared, and now...now...the problem may be at the very very top. And we all known what flows downhill. 

Shame. 

Shame. 

Shame. 

NFL WEEK 10 2024 THE RACE FOR NUMBER ONE

 The race for number one starts today at 930 in Germany where the 2-7 New York Giants face off against the 2-7 Carolina Panthers. Thank goodness you can buy liquor in Munich on Sundays. Plus the beer will be flowing freely. 

The race is for the number one draft pick in the 2025 draft. And while we are staying away from the number of Giants -6.5, we like the under 40, Chuba Hubbard to rush for over 73 yards, Bryce Young to scramble for more than ten yards, and a parlay of those two picks. That will pay for a few steins of beer and a sausage. 

Update: Well that was easy. Chuba Hubbard has 85 yards in the first QUARTER. Nice win pays for dinner tonight at The Corner Store in Soho tonight. Be jealous we can get a Resy whenever we want there.  We love that the TV announcer just said Giant's Kicker Gano puts the "No" in Gano as he missed a field goal and kept us on pace for the under.

Update 2: And a big thank you to the Gants for three turnovers, two in the red zone, and a fumble on the first play of OT, allowing this game to go under, and for us to pay the corkage fee for an Opus One tonight at The Corner Store. Life is good when you bet against the Giants in 2024, 

Your Miami Dolphins are getting 2 in Los Angeles Monday night. More on that after we see how the day plays out, but our initial thought is to lay the 2. 

Denver at KC looks fun. Over 42. 

49ers at Tampa. We will take a home dog getting 6.5 but the over 50 number is high. Maybe tease that down to 46. 

Steelers at DC. Some player props we like are Najee Harris over 1.5 receptions. Ditto Darnell Washington and Calvin Austin. Of the three picks, Harris seems like the lock.  Also QB Russell Wilson rushing under 13.5 yards. He doesn't run much anymore. 

Lions at Houston. Detroit may well be the best team in the league. We like the under 49.5 and Houston as a home dog getting 3.5 to keep it close. 

Remember the rule about gambling. Bet as much as you possibly can. We are lawyers. We can always earn more. 😜

TOMORROW: 

There are text messages between two people who know better. One is a witness in the Corey Smith case. The other...well, wait and see, but you will be very disappointed in her lack of professionalism. Or maybe you won't. But will all agree a leader should know better and act better. 

BREAKING

 There is definitely something breaking that is earth shaking in our little REGJB world. 

We know ...we are pretty sure we know the basics. 

We are pretty sure the Miami Herald will publish a story about it next week. 

We are pretty sure it involves an elected public official, and appointed public official, and the Corey Smith prosecution fiasco that unfolded like a moldy rug in the REGJB this past year and has taken down one prosecutor and permanently stained the reputation of a once-proud prosecutors' office. 

We have some more information, but we are seeking double and triple confirmation, because unlike prosecutors in certain cases, we do not make allegations we cannot prove.  

We are pretty sure of many things about this breaking news, and many of those are shocking, saddening, and distasteful. We think. Because less than a week ago we were also pretty sure that Kamala Harris was about to be elected president of the United States, and how did that turn out for us, the nation and the world? Not so well. 

So for now we are keeping our nose to the grindstone and working to conform what we are pretty sure we know. 

INVASIVE SPECIES

Correction- we updated the post to reflect that it was Judge Delancey and not Judge Brinkley who provided over this mess. 

BREAKING: THE STATE CONCEDED ON THE NEED FOR A NEW PENALTY PHASE- but the defense wants the entire verdict tossed.  Somewhere MVZ has just felt a great disturbance in the force as the Dade SAO has acted in the interests of justice. 

  

 

 In South Florida we have our share of invasive species wrecking havoc. From pythons in the Everglades, to DeSantis Drone Judges spouting MAGA crap, invasive species are a problem. 

Which brings us to the hearing unfolding his week before Judge Delancy. 

Fresh off a death recommendation in a notorious case, an email arrived in the Judge's in-box from a juror in the case, reporting another juror who described the defendant as "an invasive animal species that needs to be killed". 

There was also chatter about a juror who told other jurors that they spoke to their husband about the case during deliberations who sagely advised her that eleven other jurors could not be wrong (wanting death). 

So much for the rule, often repeated in appellate opinions, that jurors are presumed to follow jury instructions. 

Unless of course the instructions have changed and jurors are now told to ignore their own personal opinions and just go along with the crowd, and that defendants in death cases are labeled Invasive Animal Species. 

Yeah, the death penalty system, like our electoral system, is firing on all cylinders and working perfectly. 

Long weekend ahead unless you're Rumpole working Saturday (say high to us at MDC Brooklyn) and Monday (FDC Miami). 

SOME JUDICIAL NEWS

 THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

ELECTION RESULTS .....

Congratulations are in order for our newest County Court Judge:

Christopher Benjamin, former Assistant Public Defender, collected almost 54% of the vote and defeated Alina Salcines Restrepo.

Congratulations are also in order North of the Border as former Miami-Dade ASA Woody Clermont (he lives in Broward poor guy) was elected to the County Court with 54% of the vote defeating Samuel Stark.

Finally, Juan Fernandez-Barquin, was re-elected as our Miami-Dade Clerk of Court.

CAP OUT ......
Captain4Justice@gmail.com

Very happy for former Dade ASA Woody. He will bring some real life experience and fairness to the Bench. Much needed up there. 

Also congrats to Judge Benjamin. We don’t really know him but we hear some good things.  

WSC

 

Success is not final

Failure is not fatal

It is the courage to continue that counts

SWING STATE PREDICTIONS

UPDATE: 

Ground Game: A good ground game to get out the vote can move the needle .5 to 1%.  Harris volunteers knocked on THREE MILLION DOORS in Pennsylvania this past weekend and ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOORS in Philadelphia election morning. Impressive. 

Speaking of PA-  There was a problem this morning with the voter machines in Escambia County, PA. The supervisor of elections stepped in (after conferencing with Kim Jung Un). The votes are being preserved and the type of voting changed and the polls in that county, which trends Republican, will be kept open until TEN PM, which means Pennsylvania cannot be called until after 10 PM tonight (assuming Venezuela finishes with their access of the voting data in the machines by then). 

There was also a problem in a Wisconsin county which will delay reporting until around Midnight Eastern Standard Time. 

What all this means is a long night. 

Rumors- turnout is high. Turnout for women is off the charts high. Trump called them all B#tches who belong in the kitchen. We are feeling marginally better about PA after exit polls are showing the number one concern of voters was not immigration or the economy but "preservation of democracy" which is quite revealing. 

First polls close at 7pm and then 730 and then we are off to the races. Check back often for breaking news.  

Here's what we see.

First, the shock is that over the weekend a very well respected Iowa pollster published a poll  showing Harris in the lead in Iowa of all places. If those six electoral votes are in play, then things become better for Harris, but not a lot. 

Here are our toss up states:  Nevada (6); Iowa (6); Wisconsin (10); Michigan (15); Pennsylvania(19); Georgia(16); North Carolina(16) and New Mexico (5). 

With those as toss ups,  and counting the safe states for each candidate (like California for Harris and Texas for Trump) Trump leads 246-205. 

If we lean Wisconsin and Michigan to Harris and Iowa and Pennsylvania to Trump, its 265-230 Trump, and he is five votes away from regaining the presidency. 

If we then add Nevada for Harris, New Mexico for Trump, and Georgia and North Carolina for Harris Trump wins 270-268. 

So it all comes down to Pennsylvania unless Harris wins New Mexico.  Based on polling showing that people making up their minds in the last week have broken 60-40 Harris, and that people voting on the economy are 52-48 Trump - which is a drastic change from when Biden was running and it was 60-40- Harris has closed the gap. \

Which means it comes down to New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Georgia and North Carolina. We are fairly confident Harris wins Georgia and North Carolina.   

Which means if she take New Mexico, she wins 273-265. If she pulls out Pennsylvania and wins North Carolina and/or Georgia, its game over. 

But we really don't have confidence she will win New Mexico or Pennsylvania.  It’s verrrrrrrry close. 

And consider this- Maine splits it two electoral votes- we have both going to Harris, but Trump can split the state. Nebraska also splits its three votes and we have Trump winning two of three. If he could take the third vote and one from Maine, that's four of the five he needs based on the scenario where he is at 265. 

Trump has the clearer path to the presidency assuming he takes Pennsylvania. He can lose Georgia and North Carolina and still win because he is taking back Arizona which he lost in 2020. 

Harris has momentum. And she needs to hope that the female vote in Nevada, Pennsylvania and New Mexico were undercounted in polling data. If that is the case, this will not be close and we can move on to the riots,  meritless lawsuits, and claims that dead dictators rigged voting machines. 

Here is what Iowa means to us. Pollsters are picking up momentum for her. If that translates beyond Iowa, whoopee! If not, it doesn’t mean a whole lot. 

If the recent (non-Iowa)  polls got it right, then this thing- and perhaps American Democracy- is right on the edge of a precipice staring into a bleak dark hole of fascism and anti-intellectualism.

The world is watching. 

We will have a post later today about American Exceptionalism.   

NFL Week 8 2024

 Before we make you some money, don’t forget to read our election special on Monday. Rumpole will tell you who is going to win every swing state with a few surprises.  And if you know who is going to win the swing states you will know who will be POTUS 47. And if you want a hint, Jackie Roosevelt Robinson who had some notable firsts broke the MLB color line in ….1947 when he won the rookie of the year. He played …wait for it… 47 games with the Montreal Monarchs before playing for the Dodgers that year. 

Very quickly 

Commanders +4 in New Jersey as maybe we see Daniel Jones final game as a Giant. 

Tampa with 9 points at KC.  And maybe even the money line +375. We smell an upset like xxxxxxx in Georgia. 

Bo Nix over 219 passing against the Ravens. 

Kinda like the under 52 Cowpokes at Atlanta sort of the way we like the under 250 electoral votes for XXXXX. Speaking of unders, thank you Ohio State / Penn State going under yesterday and winning back all the money we lost on the Yankees  

Josh Allen over 243 yards passing and Tua under 242. In fact we are going to parlay that sucker.  

Maybe more later after we get out of MDC Brooklyn   Yuck  🤢 

INFINITE JUDGE THEOREM

 Two Australians have disproven the well-known theorem that given an infinite amount of time, a monkey pressing keys on a keyboard would eventually write the complete works of Shakespeare. 

A peer reviewed study now has proven that the time it would take for the monkey to replicate the works of Shakespeare would exceed the lifespan of our universe. 

Even enlarging the theorem to include the total current chimp population of 200,000 and assuming they type one key per second, there would still not be enough time for any of them to type out the works of the Bard. 

The work that has disproved the theorem is based on the current assumption that the universe continues to expand until it becomes a vast cold dark wasteland where nothing exists with the exception of a few Maga supporters in Oklahoma who don't believe in the universe because they cannot see all of it. 

The work disproving the Monkey Theorem brings us to ponder this as we head into the weekend: 

What are the chances a finite number of Miami Judges, pounding on a keyboard, grant a motion to suppress based on the fourth amendment before the universe cools and dies? 

The answer, like the Monkey Theorem, appears unsurprisingly grim. 

Have a good weekend. 

Here is the article on the Monkey Theorem.