COLD SUNDAY

 It's a cold  🧊Sunday  in Miami with "feels like" temperatures in the 20's, much like the heart of a new DeSantis judge sentencing a single mother with no priors who lost a jury trial on two counts of resisting with after the judge threatened informed her that she faced ten years in prison. 

It is also the first Sunday with no professional football since the dog days of August. What to do? 

You can, in no particular order, 

Brush your cat; put on a hat; go out for a walk; call a friend and have a talk. 

You can make some soup and bake some bread, and like Admiral William McRaven famously says, make your bed. 

Or you can do what we love best, read a book!

Our recommendations:

A great Biography of Richard Nixon that covers new ground and treats the former president in a very fair light is Richard Nixon The Life, by John A Farrell.  Query: Which president formed the EPA, did more for protecting and preserving clean water than any president since Teddy Roosevelt, supported and signed legislation requiring yearly cost of living updates to social security, tried to enact national health insurance, and in the words of an old Vulcan proverb:  went to China? RMN of course. His sensitivities to personal attacks are reexamined in the historical light of just how fairly or unfairly the press actually treated him, and the result is a very balanced biography that will have you re-thinking your thoughts about Nixon. If you are a history fan like we are, you will luxuriate in the deep examinations of fascinating incidents mostly lost to history like his involvement and probable illegal activities to undermine the peace talks with Vietnam in the waning days of the Johnson administration (as he was running for president) with a character like Madame Anna Chennault.  The examination of his unsurpassed political survival instincts when during his run with Eisenhower for the vice presidency he was accused of running a slush fund will have you shaking your head in admiration. Not only did the Democrats want him off the ticket, so did Eisenhower and most of his inner circle. And yet his famous Checkers Speech saved him from political ignominy and not only rescued his career, but out maneuvered both Democrats and Eisenhower and left many ordinary Americans who watched the speech in tears. 

Well worth a read. 

If your interests are British as ours always are, Henry V The Astonishing Triumph of England's Great Warrior King, by Dan Jones is a very good read. 

And if you need a little fiction in your life see if Atonement by Ian McEwan floats your boat. 

There is more to life than Football on Sunday. Now go brush your cat. 

STREETS OF MINNEAPOLIS

 Thursday is National Curmudgeon day.  A holiday we naturally celebrate.  See below:

And there is this: The Streets of Minneapolis: 

Just don't believe your eyes/ It's our blood and bones/And these whistles and phones/Against Miller and Noemi's dirty lies/ We will remember the names of those who died/On the Streets of Minneapolis

ICE OUT NOW! (rinse and repeat) 

Curmudgeons Day, celebrated on January 29, honors those delightfully grumpy souls who never hesitate to speak their minds. The date marks the birthday of W.C. Fields, the American comedian and actor famous for his sharp wit and hilariously cantankerous personality. Rather than seeing grumpiness as something negative, this day embraces the humor and honesty that often come with it.

A curmudgeon is typically described as someone who is stubborn, opinionated, and resistant to change. However, behind the gruff exterior there is often intelligence, experience, and a refusal to accept nonsense. Curmudgeons remind us that not every trend deserves applause and not every idea is brilliant. Sometimes, a little skepticism keeps the world balanced.

Celebrating Curmudgeons Day can be as simple as watching a classic W.C. Fields film or sharing your own tongue in cheek complaints about modern life. It is also a fun opportunity to appreciate the outspoken people in your life who say what others are thinking but hesitate to voice.

Above all, the day encourages good humor. Being a curmudgeon is not about spreading negativity. It is about clever commentary, playful grumbling, and perhaps offering wisdom wrapped in sarcasm. So on January 29, embrace your inner grouch and do it with a smile.

BLOGGER CERTIFICATION: This post was NOT made with the use of AI or respect for any judicial authorities. Being a curmudgeon we resent even having to do this. 

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JUDICIAL NEWS IN MIAMI-DADE COUNTY .....

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS: 

JUDICIAL NEWS IN MIAMI-DADE COUNTY .....

JUDGE KEVIN EMAS IS RETIRING .....

There’s lots of judicial news going on in Miami-Dade County. Let’s start with the 3rd DCA. Judge Kevin Emas has announced his retirement from the bench effective March 31, 2026. Judge Emas has led a distinguished career, beginning with his employment as an Assistant Public Defender in Bennett Brummer’s office in 1982. He went on to private practice with the law firm of Fine Jacobson, and then with Thornton Rothman & Emas. He then began a 30-year career serving on the bench. He was first appointed to the County Court in 1996 by Governor Lawton Chiles. He was elevated to the Circuit Court in 2001 by Governor Jeb Bush. Finally, he was tapped by Governor Crist to sit on the 3rd DCA in 2010. He has served on the 3rd DCA for the past 16 years and served as Chief Judge of the Third District from 2019 to 2021.

Judge Emas has held numerous leadership roles in the Florida Conference of Circuit Judges. He also served as a faculty member of the Florida Judicial College, New Appellate Judges Program, Florida’s College of Advanced Judicial Studies, and the National Judicial College. He served as an adjunct faculty member at both FIU College of Law and UM Law. He served as a member of the Judicial Qualifications Commission, Chair of the Supreme Court’s Criminal Court Steering Committee, and Chair of the Florida Criminal Procedure Rules Committee.

Thank you, Judge Emas, for your incredible dedication to the citizens of Miami-Dade County and the State of Florida. 

The 3rd DCA JNC is now accepting applications for Judge Emas' replacement, with a deadline of February 26, 2026.

11TH CIRCUIT JUDICIAL NOMINATING COMMITTEE (JNC) .....

The JNC has announced that it is now taking applications for two Circuit Court seats and two County Court seats. These four seats are new and were created by the Florida legislature with the enactment of SB 2508. The deadline to submit your application is February 20, 2026. The JNC expects to conduct interviews on March 13. The Governor is expected to name the four new judges by no later than May 14, 2026.

CIRCUIT COURT JUDICIAL ELECTIONS .....

There are 34 Circuit Court seats up for election in 2026. The six-year term begins on January 6, 2027. Qualifying Week is April 20-24, 2026. The election is scheduled for August 18, 2026.

The following is a list of judges whose terms expire on January 5, 2027. Some of these judges will be retiring. An (F) next to their name means they have filed with the Department of Elections for the upcoming election. Six incumbents have not yet filed, while three newcomers have filed to run.

CIRCUIT COURT

Michelle Alvarez Barakat (F)
Tanya Brinkley (F)
Beatrice Butchko (F)
Marcia Caballero - has not yet filed - Group 51
Carmen Cabarga (F)
Yvonne Colodny (F)
Ivonne Cuesta (F)
Jorge Cueto (F)
Abby Cynamon (F)
Michelle Delancy (F)
Dawn Denaro (F)
Reemberto Diaz (F)
Veronica Diaz (F)
Spencer Eig (F)
Carlos Gamez (F)
Stacy Glick (F)
Laura Gonzalez-Marques (F)
Carlos Guzman (F)
Christine Hernandez (F)
Richard Hersch - has not yet filed* - Group 69
Peter Lopez (F)
Denis Martinez-Scanziani (F)
Alberto Milian (F)
Cristina Miranda - will be filing soon** - Group 48
Spencer Multack (F)
Joseph Perkins (F)
Orlando Prescott - has not yet filed - Group 35
Jose Rodriguez - retired - Group 07 - 
Mavel Ruiz (F)
Migna Sanchez-Llorens (F)
Laura Stuzin (F)
Daryl Trawick (F)
Andrea Wolfson (F)
Angelica Zayas - has not yet filed - Group 05 -

*Judge Hersch is retiring.

We communicated with Judge Miranda, who indicated that she "intends to file shortly and hopes to continue serving the people of Miami-Dade County as she has for almost 29 years."

The three non-incumbent attorneys who have filed to run include:

Group 05 - Attorney Alexander Annunziato

Group 07 - Attorney Cristobal Padron

Group 69 - Attorney Rita Baez

Tomorrow, we will cover the County Court races.

CAPTAIN OUT .......
Captain4Justice@gmail.com

AI

 Good cold Tuesday morning as all eyes in the nation are on South Florida as we dig out and struggle from under 50-degree bitter cold. We are tough. We are hardy. We will get through this like a calendar call in Hialeah with a judge an hour late. We will survive. 

If like us, you live for Miami-Dade Court administrative orders, then Monday was a day you will not soon forget. It reminds all of us that AI stands for more than Asinine. 

There's a new administrative order requiring all parties to include the following certification on all motions (this in addition to the already required certifications:  "I certify that nothing in this motion mentions global warming or climate change"  [The DeSantis certification];  "I certify that nothing in this motion speaks favorably of the rights of immigrants, trans people, or veganism"  [The 2026 Life in America certification]; and of course the "I hereby certify that nothing in this motion makes any reference to diversity, equity and inclusion other than to rightfully ridicule such ideas" [The DEI certification]).

The filing shall include a statement substantially in the following form: "Generative artificial intelligence was used in the preparation of this filing. The undersigned certifies that all factual assertions, legal authority, and citations have been independently reviewed and verified for accuracy and accepts full responsibility for the contents of this filing." 

We are not making this up.  Sometimes judges just make life for a legal blogger so very easy. 

First- if you are a lawyer and you are using AI to write motions and are not carefully checking each citation AI is giving you, shame on you. Do your job which is more than creating IG posts. 

Second, why? 

If a lawyer cites a case to the court that does not exist, then they get what they deserve. They should lose and be roundly shammed. 

So what is going on here? You have come to the right place for the answers you will not get anywhere else. 

As usual it is our civil brothers and sisters who are driving this train wreck. Rumor is that in filing the hundreds of boilerplate motions seeking legal fees from insurance companies, the civil firms are using paralegals and AI in the place of a real lawyer. Then, poor civil judges are wading through the motions, seeing cases they don't recognize, and discovering that the cite is fake. Then, at the five-minute motion hearing the lawyers are blaming AI, and as Sy Gaer might have said, are muttering mea culpa and that it's "A sad and tragic mistake that will not happen again" (of course Sy would never have used AI). 

But until now the civil judges were powerless, something akin to them getting the check at lunch at Joes- a very uncomfortable feeling for them.  They could find that the lawyer violated Bar rules for candor towards the court and to prepare for hearings, but they could not impose a fine, and ahhh therein lied the rub, because what's a good civil case without the threat of sanctions? 

So now, our civil friends have to sign the pleading with the certification and when a fake AI case slips through, your favourite civil robe wearer can do what makes them happiest (because in civil court they cannot impose a max sentence after trial), they can impose Sanction$ !!!

So pull up your motions to suppress and dismiss and continue and rules to show cause and include the certification on every motion and thank your civil friends for once again making the practice of law even harder than it should be. 

And don't forget to add to all your criminal motions the Victim Certification "I hereby certify that I fully understand the victim wants the max!" 

Here is the Admin Order. 

Administrative Order No. 26-04 Disclosure of Use of Generative AI by Anonymous PbHV4H

BLOG CERTIFICATION 

The undersigned certifies that all factual assertions, legal authority, and citations have been made by the blogger without use of any legal authority or Artificial Intelligence and without much concern for factual or legal accuracy. 

H Rumpole, Blog Proprietor 

NLF CHAMPIONSHIP SUNDAY 2026

 Good Sunday morning. There's a lot going on in the world and the sporting world, so let's get to it. 

A massive winter ❆storm is hitting the middle section of the country and the president has squarely laid the blame on the small Caribbean island of Antigua, demanding they surrender their island for reparations. "No one has ever seen anything like this storm, and the democrats and Antigua are to blame" said the president on his social media platform bullshit for beanbrains. 

China's dictator Xi Jinping eviscerated the top leadership of the People's Liberation Army, announcing investigations into China's top generals Zhang Youxia and Liu Zhenli.  Zhang's removal is the most shocking, as he and Xi are childhood friends and he was one of only a few PLA generals who had combat experience, leading a division in the lengthy boarder war with Vietnam that started in 1979. Investigations in China are similar to those announced by US Attorney General Pam Bondi- closed minded affairs with the filing of charges a forgone conclusion. The difference is that in the US we have a (semi for now) independent judiciary, but Bondi and the president are doing their level best to change that.   

As for the NFL we have two intriguing games on tap.  First up is the Cheaters at Denver who lost their star QB on a freak play at the end of the game. We are betting with our heart, not our head and taking the Broncos at home +4.5. Fun fact. Cheaters have never won a playoff game in the Mile High stadium. They are an 0-4.  The weather is a chilly 10 degrees with mild wind that will make it feel like 0. If you want to have some fun, bet Bronco QB Jarret Stidham to have over 209 passing yards. 

The best game of the day is LA at Seattle. Defense wins championships. Period. End of story. And the Seahawks have quietly built the best defense in the NFL. That D will be up against arguably the best player in the NFL this year- the fun-name-to-say Puka Nakua.  The Seahawks are a paltry -2.5 favorite mostly because Vegas books see a big chance for Seahawks QB Sam Darnold to screw is up, while Rams QB Matthew Stafford has been there (and NFC championship game) and done that (won).  It is really hard for us to pick against a great D. Steelers. Ravens. 85 Bears.  86 and 90 Giants with Lawrence Taylor.  

The totals in both games are tough as well. 43 in Denver (weather related) and 46 in Seattle (will the D hold up against Stafford and Nakua?)

We may just sit this one out and enjoy the game for its entertainment value, as hard as that seems to believe.  But if you are not suffering like us through the last week of Dry January and will be enjoying a few 🍺 watching the games and eating 🐔wings and pizza 🍕, then you have to take the Seahawks -2.5. 

This is the last NFL football Sunday of 2025, and it has been a fun one. It may also be our last blogging about it.  And if that is the case, we truly thank you for tuning in and reading all these years. It has been fun. As championship Golfer Gary Player wisely says about his rules of life, change is the price of survival. 

ZOOM 2.0

 We received these two comments and are posting both in their entirety.  

The Judge goes first: 

Good evening!

Zoom is indeed available in my courtroom! It simply is not available for trial setting and evidentiary hearings. Pop in for arraignments tomorrow and you can see for yourself.

I hope this clarifies things. I am simply trying to follow the law on in-person trials and eliminate the Zoom information on trial notices, which is terribly confusing for all parties involved.

Feel free to come by Chambers for coffee to discuss anytime. Seriously. I am not above receiving constructive criticism. I welcome feedback and hope to continue to serve the community to their satisfaction and in accordance with the law.

If you wish to send me feedback anonymously or otherwise, I also monitor my judicial email regularly.

Best,

Judge Bach Armas

Thursday, January 22, 2026 6:27:53 PM

Rumpy:

This matter is a bit more nuanced than you may know. Judge Bach does not seem to want to eliminate Zoom for those 10-second hearings that do not need one’s physical presence. He seems to want to avoid the prosecution from announcing READY for trial when they really aren’t.

The rules of criminal procedure, as you have noted, are clear. We just need to file a pleading that requests Zoom hearings where appropriate. I have been filing such requests since the day that rule was passed by Florida’s Supreme Court.

While I would not be so formal in my requirements if I were a judge, I am not the judge, he is. And that position gives him the power to run his courtroom as he chooses, as long as it is within the law.

The law says that you need to request a Zoom hearing; he is asking that you do that. That probably isn’t too much to ask (that we follow the law).

Let’s see how this all plays out. If, down the road, his policies are not to your liking, you can always run against him, or support someone who will do so. In the meantime, perhaps your favorite saying should apply to us defense attorneys: ‘Lighten up, Francis.”

Wednesday, January 21, 2026 8:48:38 PM

BACH-ARMAS ZAPS ZOOM

 It's been a long time since we've had a chance to take a deep dive into arrant judicial arrogance. So a big thank you to our subject of today's post.  Now we don't have to write about Davos. 

Word has reached us, that much like an appointed US attorney who refuses judicial orders to be removed (see here) County Court Judge Marcus Richard Bach-Armas has stopped allowing Zoom in his fiefdom court.

First the basics.  Florida Rule of Criminal Procedure 3.116(c)(1) requires judges to allow Zoom for short non-evidentiary hearings upon request.

Next comes the Judge's remarkable order, dated January 6 (we tell you over and over that these guys spend the holidays ruminating on how they can be tougher) basically threatening the Clerk's Office and the Administrative Office of the Courts with "sanctions" because they have not removed the zoom information on his notices to litigants for court hearings.  Now we do not (yet) have inside information, but what we are assuming is the Clerks are having a bit of trouble printing the tens of thousands of notices that go out every month using one form for every judge in the County with zoom information, and now creating a second form for this primadonna judge.  And word to the wise- F with the clerks, and no matter what you consider a win will end up being a loss. From lost files to repeated absences due to illness and a million insider tricks, the clerk's office like the Grand Canyon has been around long before you and will be here long after you are gone. They always win in the end. 

2026-01-06 Bach ORDER Directing Clerks Delete Zoom by Anonymous PbHV4H

So now we get to what you have all been waiting for. Rumpole's seriously sarcastic snide take on this. 

Maybe it's the melancholy we are experiencing as we wind down our practice and separate files for shredding.  (1998 Drug trafficking acquittal- shred. 2002 White Collar Fraud Trial in LA- shred. 2006 murder acquittal in Broward- we never wanted to see that judge's name again- shred). But before engaging in the shredding of this order, we will make an impassioned plea. 

Dear Judge. 

You handle misdemeanors. MIS-DE-MEAN-ORS. To paraphrase Judge Kathleen Williams- the red-headed stepchild of the criminal justice system (she was talking about the Federal PDs office when she said it, but the analogy fits and we love Judge Williams-who doesn't?). 

The world does not stop to see your ruling on resisting without. No one cares what happens to the loitering or prowling, or possession of marijuana, or (our favourite) the under-sized snook case.  If the Florida Legislature had listened to us years ago, you'd be adjudicating former third-degree felonies, while misdemeanors are reduced to civil infractions. But no- you have to convene a jury because the state (victim wants max) wants to try the assault via a thrown bag of potato chips (a real case we saw).  

So here is our plea. The unrepresented defendants, not to mention victims, who appear in your court are mostly from the lower socio-economic sphere of our society. Many do not have a car or a license. Even more are working a job and two or three side-gig hustles to make ends meet. Many are single parents. They do not have the luxury of time to spend the morning driving, paying for gas and then parking, and then missing out on work they do not get paid for to sit in your court for an hour waiting for their case to be called only to be told to return in three weeks for trial. Zoom saves them. It also saves the environment because it removes cars and gas emissions from the roads (although we know in this environment the mention of helping the environment will damage your chances to be appointed to the 3rd DCA because of the environment in Tallahassee).  Most of the unrepresented defendants who appear before you do not own a Tesla. 

Now we get the judicial/legal sleight of hand. If the Clerks/AOC remove the Zoom notice, then most unrepresented defendants (and some of your former colleagues who are now back to practicing law) will not know enough to request a Zoom hearing because they haven't read rule 3.116(c)(1). 

And this (as Bruce Springsteen sings in 10th Avenue Freeze out during concerts) is the important part. We get you do not like Zoom (although we do not know why). But taking advantage of the ignorance of unrepresented defendants (and some of your former colleagues) is just wrong. It violates the spirit of what the Supreme Court did (after a massive amount of pro bono work by our colleague Judge Faccidomo, Esq) to allow the court system to work more efficiently, and make it easier for that unrepresented single mom who is working 17 hours a day to appear before you without the time and expense of traveling to Court. 

So maybe re-think your order? Hand out candy like retired Judge Pooler did to people who appeared in her court. But don't remove the notice, take a gummie or meditate before court and get through zoom. The weight of public opinion and technology are against you. This is no Churchillian fight from the back bench warning of the German build-up in their air force in the 1938. This is an order that will actually hurt the people who appear before you. And despite your chosen profession, no one should intentionally want to hurt poor people through the performance of their job. Leave that for the ASA drones moaning victim wants max all day long. Do justice instead. 

And now our offer- maybe we have this wrong. Maybe the handwringing emails on the FACDL listserv have it wrong and you are simply and tragically misunderstood. So we invite you to respond. Send us an email and we promise two things- one -it will be posted in toto with no editing (as long as there are no curse words) and two- the comments will be moderated to allow only a fair debate on your actions- no trashing will be allowed. 

Yours, etc. 

H Rumpole, Esq., Blog Proprietor. 

PS: we really liked trying cases before your mother. She was a great judge. 

TUESDAY TITLE TALK

 Good Tuesday morning. If you're a big UM fan and not one of those bandwagon posers who bought up the tickets for the naty championship game (we overheard this from some middle age UM chippy 10k ticket buyer  at the Hardrock/Dove Soap Stadium  I like it when they try the three-point throws), then you are recovering from a tough loss. But have heart- UM is back and they will be back in a championship game. They have built a great program and were driving late in the 4th quarter for a championship against one of the great college football teams of all time. 

Despite a lo$ing weekend  of NFL bets, we rallied and recovered most of our losses with an over 46.5 bet that Indiana's last field goal secured for us. Whew. Like UM, we are back. 

What a job Curt Cignetti did for Indiana. He took one of the all-time losingest programs in college football, a program that hasn't been ranked in the top ten since Lyndon Johnson was president (and now a bunch of 30 something DeSantis drones are asking ChatGPT when ?)  and built them in two years into an undefeated championship team.  Their Heisman winning Miami-native QB was never recruited by UM, and Jamari Sharpe, who is another Miami native and made the game winning interception for Indiana is the nephew of UM defensive back Glenn Sharpe who was called for pass interference that lost UM's last championship in the Fiesta Bowl in 2003 against Ohio State.  All in all a classic game last night. 

MARKET WATCH

The Market is on shaky ground this morning (with a sharp down opening because of the news that is affecting a market that has been overbought the last ten days) as traders digest the president's threats (again) to raise tariffs against Europe unless they agree to ship the Eiffel Tower to Central Park, surrender all North Sea oil leases, and give up Greenland.  The Tariffs include 200% on French Wines (ouch). Make of this what you will, but we note that the last time the president's tariffs drove down the market in April 2025 we scooped up NVDA shares in the mid 90's (it's now 185 ish). The Vix (fear index) opened over 20 which is a good indication there will be more sellers than buyers, which brings to mind the best saying of the greatest investor of all time- Warren Buffet- When people are greedy be fearful, when people are fearful be greedy.  With those wise words in mind, there will be values in the market today and we are buyers. AMAT, ANET, AVGO, GOOG. and the banks including JPM, BAC, and MS are on our shopping list.  Keep your eye on CoreWeave (CRWV)- Potus just bought a bunch for whatever that is worth. 

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP

 Well here we are finally. The U in another National Championship game, and lo and behold it is in Miami. Well, nearby. 

Good thing we did not post our NFL picks for this weekend. We LOST every game we picked, which meant it was hard seltzer for dinner instead of Opus One. Well, it would have been neither since we are doing Dry January, but we can't buy a nice Opus for dinner for Feb 1 unless we can end this mush losing streak we are on. We did hit some nice three-leg parlays in wildcard weekend, but lost it all this weekend. And BTW The Bills were ROBBED. That was a catch. Cook caught the ball. His knee was down when he had possession. Period. End of discussion. The Bills were robbed by idiot refs. 

Sometime in September 2024 a close friend whispered "Indiana" in our ear, and we went on a spectacular run. The public and the books didn't catch up to this trend until about the middle of this year. So we owe a whole lot to Indiana. And despite the front-running phonies this town is loaded with- Ex I being the absurdly high rates for a seat at Hard Roc/Tyson Chicken Nuggets Stadium tonight, we always back U of M when we can. 

The +7.5 for U M looks juicy. And if you're a big UM fan take it. Maybe Indiana is up by ten with three minutes and there's a UM TD and back door cover. Personally we think Indiana is the better team and we are going to lay the 7.5. But it's not something we have a lot of conviction on. We like the over 46.5 better. 

Enjoy the Game!

Coming next: The President demands the pacific island of Nauru and threatens Russia "If they don't return Alaska." 

A RIOT IS THE LANGUAGE OF THE UNHEARD

 MLK on 60 Minutes in 1968. 

We will have our National Championship analysis up later today.

BAD MOON RISING

 The shocking decision in Caribo v. State, 4D2023-2962, courtesy of your friends on the 4th DCA ("We're gonna getchya") allows for the introduction of a defendant's prior convictions as impeachment when a defense attorney solicits from a police officer during cross examination a statement her client made.   Ay Caramba!  

Danger Will Robinson! This is not good! 

“When a hearsay statement has been admitted in evidence, credibility of the declarant may be attacked and, if attacked, may be supported by any evidence that would be admissible for those purposes if the declarant had testified as a witness.” § 90.806(1), Fla. Stat. (2023). “A party may attack the credibility of any witness, including an accused, by evidence that the witness has been convicted of a crime if the crime was punishable by death or imprisonment in excess of 1 year under the law under which 5 the witness was convicted, or if the crime involved dishonesty or a false statement regardless of the punishment[.]” § 90.610(1), Fla. Stat. (2023).

This is the statement that came out on cross by the defendant's attorney: 

 

Q: Okay. So after the interview, you took a picture of the shoe, was there any other things that you did with Mr. Caribo regarding this case?

A: I asked him if he—I believe I asked him if he had any of the jewelry concealed on him, at the time. Other than that, I don’t believe I did anything else, just speaking to him.

Q: Okay. And did Mr. Caribo act, like, surprised or did he say he had jewelry?

A: He said he didn’t have any jewelry on him.

The learned judges (note the sarcasm) found this to be a hearsay statement of the defendant which, naturally, allowed the prosecution to impeach the defendant who was presumably sitting quietly at counsel table quietly working on Wordle, with 23 felony and 5 misdemeanor convictions, 

So now cross-examiner beware! One wrong question, and all your client's priors come flooding in. 

(H/T Judge De La O's case law email update) 

Opinion_2023-2962 by Anonymous PbHV4H

And finally, for some fun heading into the NFL Playoffs weekend, a -4 degree temp meme that some people see something else in 😂

DOJ INVESTIGATES

 In the wake of the shooting of an unarmed person by ICE in Minneapolis last week the DOJ naturally ordered the federal criminal investigation of the agents The Widow of the victim. Because that's what the Department of justice does in 2026. 

In response at least three prosecutors with the US Attorney's office in Minneapolis have resigned because that is what good men and women of conscience do when confronted by an evil government. 

Will that good conscience will spread to the US attorneys office here in Miami? Do not hold your breath. 

Military occupation of Minneapolis   As per the failing NY Times (the Times added nearly 500,000 digital subscribers in 2025 and now has over 12 million subscribers.)

We did not (could not) follow our own advice and keep the first weeks the new year free and that is why our blogging has been slow. 

SCOTUS WATCH - More decisions from the DC 9 today. Will they include a market shaking decision on Tariffs? 

In the meantime enjoy the coolest guys of the 1970s- Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes and the legendary Teddy Pendergrass singing the Love I Lost on the coolest show of all time- 

Soul Train. Why ever listen to crap when there is this? 

Coming soon: exclusive video of civil judges calmly choosing their courtrooms and chambers in the new civil courthouse.  Only on the REGJB blog that soon needs a new operator. Apply within.  

SARTE

 As we wind down the legal aspects of our life, work, and blogging, we are going to post quotes from time to time to make your day a little better. Bring a smile to your litigation creased face. Warm your soul like written chicken soup, or a well-done knish with grainy mustard. 

And we start with a great one on a blog run by a misanthropic blogger and it represents our view of the judiciary and Miami. 

"HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE" 

John Paul Sarte 

UM FIESTA BOWL TONIGHT

 The University of Miami plays Ole Miss in the Fiesta Bowl tonight. And as we all know in Miami, Fiesta means chips party! 

UM is in the college football playoffs. Only 11 one more win and they are in the National Championship game to be played on April 1  January 19. 

The Canes are -3.5 and the o/u is a high 52.5. First, take the under. It has hit in all the Canes playoff games. They have a great Defense. 

Ole Miss is the Cinderella underdog of college football, with their coach having been blown up left them high and dry for LSU. Like the platoon in Stripes (see below) they are training themselves and winning. But alas, even for Cinderella midnight came, and for Ole Miss it will be tonight. Your Miami Hurricanes will win and advance to the national championship game! Almost time for everyone in Miami to jump on the bandwagon and pretend they are loyal Canes fans. 

ANOTHER ONE BITE THE DUST

Another great American newspaper is closing forever. Word has reached us that Pittsburgh's oldest and largest Newspaper-  the Pittsburgh Post Gazette -is closing on May 3, 2026, ten years to the day the Tampa Tribune folded. 

Capitalists we, we cannot help but feel alarmed for the future. Newspapers were and are not only the conscious of the community, allowing for a decent discussion in the OP Ed pages and letters to the editor, they were and are the cop on the beat for local, state, and the national government. If a city-council person had their brother-in-law on the city payroll with a no-show job, a local beat reporter would dig it up and publicize the waste and fraud. They reported on the victories of the Rumpoles of our profession, labouring away in criminal court and speaking truth to power. And they provided the flavour of the community with local sports, and lifestyle news coverage.

Now all we have is IG streams where you have to hope to get a glimpse of some news between the posts on new recipes for chicken salad made in an air fryer, and fetching 20 somethings bemoaning their loneliness behind pictures of Starbucks lattes while sitting seemingly alone in a bikini in a cafe in January, or hiking a mountain in Karachi. And if you click on their profile you can join their OFs*! 

 (Sarcasm alert!) What a great world we live in!

* Only For idiots accounts. What ever happened to the good old days of watching porn in a dingy movie theater on 79th street in Miami or Times Square in NYC? *sigh* 

2:45 "Blown Up Sir!" 

NFL WEEK 18 2025

 Here it is, sadly, the last week of regular season games for 2025. It's been a great year and we are going to miss the steady diet of football on Sunday, Monday and Thursdays. 

The games this week are bleh, and it is too difficult to really know which teams will be playing starters and which have pulled the plug for the year. For example, the Dolphins are sitting Devone Archane, who has been our go-to money-making prop bet on the over for his rushing yardage. 

But we have a secret. 

One word, and it's not "plastics".  (for those of you born after 1990, especially judges, see below)

Under. 

You know what the line was in the Seattle-49er's game Sunday night? 48. The final was 16-3! It was not even close. 

So today we are loading up on under parlays, including this gem: 

Browns/Bengals under 48 + Titans/Jaguars under 46.5 + Fins/Chaters under 45.5 +Lions/Bears under 51. 

All of them are good plays by themselves. But a four team parlay hit would be as sweet as a SDNY Judge granting a Maduro defense motion to suppress- and as unexpected. That's why they call it gambling.

Have fun. See you in the Playoffs. 

FF AND SURVIVOR

Going into the last weeks Rumpole had won the Survivor pool and was a top seed in the FF playoffs! He had the never done sweep of both blog football contests in his sights. 

But alas injuries decimated his team, including the loss of starting QB Mahomes, and even with that, heading into a San Fran 49ers MNF game he was up and just needed  49ers star running back Christian McCaffery not to score two TDs, which he did, allowing the eventual champion to knock Rumpole's Last Hurrah FF team out of the playoffs and into a respectable third place finish (above a certain judge who loves Minnesota wide receivers who are vastly overrated if you ask us).   

And the Champion was....Fantasy Femme Force! 

Step forward and identify yourself for the accolades which are deservedly yours. 

It just kills us that most you have no knowledge of culture before 1985. 

IN VICTORY MAGNANIMITY

 This crossed out desk: 

POSITION AVAILABLE: CJA ATTORNEY SOUTHERN DISTRICT OF NEW YORK

Must have three years of experience in criminal law, two jury trials, one in narcotics trafficking. Spanish speaking preferred. Apply on-line. SDNY. 

Many readers are emailing us asking our opinion of the military operation to arrest Maduro and his wife in Venezuela. We have these thoughts: 

1: As the secretary of state repeated multiple times, Maduro was not the elected leader of Venezuela. He lost the election and seized power. Three cheers for nation building!.

2. In watching the press conference by the President, secretary of defense, and chairman of the joint chiefs of staff, we were struck by one thought: They all ignored, or forgot, or never learned of one of the most valuable lessons taught by the greatest statesman of the 20th Century: Winston Spencer Churchill: 

In Victory Magnanimity; 

in Defeat, Defiance.

We saw a lot of chest thumping "no could do what we did" kind of statements, that strangely we never saw Eisenhower do after the Normandy Landings, McArthur after the Inchon landing, the Israelis after the Entebbe raid, or the government under Obama after Bin Laden was killed. 

In short, there was no magnanimity. And that leads to people believing their own hype and PR and chest thumping and over-confidence. And that leads to a terrible tragedy. We hope this does not occur. We shall see. 

MEL BLACK MEMORIAL

 We received many wonderful comments about Mel Black, including the below from his daughter., There is a celebration of his life on Sunday January 11, 2026 Shake-A-Leg Miami from 4-7PM.  Click on the link for the location, which is 2620 Bayshore Drive, Coconut Grove. 

Kadie Black said...

Thank you all for your very kind words. My dad was a very special human who is leaving behind a beautiful legacy of kindness and impact. This world is better because he was in it.

There will be a celebration of life on Sunday, January 11th from 4pm to 7pm at Shake-a-Leg Miami for those who want to join.