When you see something that is not right, not fair, find a way to get in the way and cause trouble. Congressman John Lewis
Thursday is National Curmudgeon day. A holiday we naturally celebrate. See below:
And there is this: The Streets of Minneapolis:
Just don't believe your eyes/ It's our blood and bones/And these whistles and phones/Against Miller and Noemi's dirty lies/ We will remember the names of those who died/On the Streets of Minneapolis
Curmudgeons Day, celebrated on January 29, honors those delightfully grumpy souls who never hesitate to speak their minds. The date marks the birthday of W.C. Fields, the American comedian and actor famous for his sharp wit and hilariously cantankerous personality. Rather than seeing grumpiness as something negative, this day embraces the humor and honesty that often come with it.
A curmudgeon is typically described as someone who is stubborn, opinionated, and resistant to change. However, behind the gruff exterior there is often intelligence, experience, and a refusal to accept nonsense. Curmudgeons remind us that not every trend deserves applause and not every idea is brilliant. Sometimes, a little skepticism keeps the world balanced.
Celebrating Curmudgeons Day can be as simple as watching a classic W.C. Fields film or sharing your own tongue in cheek complaints about modern life. It is also a fun opportunity to appreciate the outspoken people in your life who say what others are thinking but hesitate to voice.
Above all, the day encourages good humor. Being a curmudgeon is not about spreading negativity. It is about clever commentary, playful grumbling, and perhaps offering wisdom wrapped in sarcasm. So on January 29, embrace your inner grouch and do it with a smile.
BLOGGER CERTIFICATION: This post was NOT made with the use of AI or respect for any judicial authorities. Being a curmudgeon we resent even having to do this.
THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:
JUDICIAL NEWS IN MIAMI-DADE COUNTY .....
JUDGE KEVIN EMAS IS RETIRING .....
There’s lots of judicial news going on in Miami-Dade County. Let’s start with the 3rd DCA. Judge Kevin Emas has announced his retirement from the bench effective March 31, 2026. Judge Emas has led a distinguished career, beginning with his employment as an Assistant Public Defender in Bennett Brummer’s office in 1982. He went on to private practice with the law firm of Fine Jacobson, and then with Thornton Rothman & Emas. He then began a 30-year career serving on the bench. He was first appointed to the County Court in 1996 by Governor Lawton Chiles. He was elevated to the Circuit Court in 2001 by Governor Jeb Bush. Finally, he was tapped by Governor Crist to sit on the 3rd DCA in 2010. He has served on the 3rd DCA for the past 16 years and served as Chief Judge of the Third District from 2019 to 2021.
Judge Emas has held numerous leadership roles in the Florida Conference of Circuit Judges. He also served as a faculty member of the Florida Judicial College, New Appellate Judges Program, Florida’s College of Advanced Judicial Studies, and the National Judicial College. He served as an adjunct faculty member at both FIU College of Law and UM Law. He served as a member of the Judicial Qualifications Commission, Chair of the Supreme Court’s Criminal Court Steering Committee, and Chair of the Florida Criminal Procedure Rules Committee.
Thank you, Judge Emas, for your incredible dedication to the citizens of Miami-Dade County and the State of Florida.
The 3rd DCA JNC is now accepting applications for Judge Emas' replacement, with a deadline of February 26, 2026.
11TH CIRCUIT JUDICIAL NOMINATING COMMITTEE (JNC) .....
The JNC has announced that it is now taking applications for two Circuit Court seats and two County Court seats. These four seats are new and were created by the Florida legislature with the enactment of SB 2508. The deadline to submit your application is February 20, 2026. The JNC expects to conduct interviews on March 13. The Governor is expected to name the four new judges by no later than May 14, 2026.
CIRCUIT COURT JUDICIAL ELECTIONS .....
There are 34 Circuit Court seats up for election in 2026. The six-year term begins on January 6, 2027. Qualifying Week is April 20-24, 2026. The election is scheduled for August 18, 2026.
The following is a list of judges whose terms expire on January 5, 2027. Some of these judges will be retiring. An (F) next to their name means they have filed with the Department of Elections for the upcoming election. Six incumbents have not yet filed, while three newcomers have filed to run.
CIRCUIT COURT
*Judge Hersch is retiring.
We communicated with Judge Miranda, who indicated that she "intends to file shortly and hopes to continue serving the people of Miami-Dade County as she has for almost 29 years."
The three non-incumbent attorneys who have filed to run include:
Group 05 - Attorney Alexander Annunziato
Group 07 - Attorney Cristobal Padron
Group 69 - Attorney Rita Baez
Tomorrow, we will cover the County Court races.
Good cold Tuesday morning as all eyes in the nation are on South Florida as we dig out and struggle from under 50-degree bitter cold. We are tough. We are hardy. We will get through this like a calendar call in Hialeah with a judge an hour late. We will survive.
If like us, you live for Miami-Dade Court administrative orders, then Monday was a day you will not soon forget. It reminds all of us that AI stands for more than Asinine.
There's a new administrative order requiring all parties to include the following certification on all motions (this in addition to the already required certifications: "I certify that nothing in this motion mentions global warming or climate change" [The DeSantis certification]; "I certify that nothing in this motion speaks favorably of the rights of immigrants, trans people, or veganism" [The 2026 Life in America certification]; and of course the "I hereby certify that nothing in this motion makes any reference to diversity, equity and inclusion other than to rightfully ridicule such ideas" [The DEI certification]).
The filing shall include a statement substantially in the following form: "Generative artificial intelligence was used in the preparation of this filing. The undersigned certifies that all factual assertions, legal authority, and citations have been independently reviewed and verified for accuracy and accepts full responsibility for the contents of this filing."
We are not making this up. Sometimes judges just make life for a legal blogger so very easy.
First- if you are a lawyer and you are using AI to write motions and are not carefully checking each citation AI is giving you, shame on you. Do your job which is more than creating IG posts.
Second, why?
If a lawyer cites a case to the court that does not exist, then they get what they deserve. They should lose and be roundly shammed.
So what is going on here? You have come to the right place for the answers you will not get anywhere else.
As usual it is our civil brothers and sisters who are driving this train wreck. Rumor is that in filing the hundreds of boilerplate motions seeking legal fees from insurance companies, the civil firms are using paralegals and AI in the place of a real lawyer. Then, poor civil judges are wading through the motions, seeing cases they don't recognize, and discovering that the cite is fake. Then, at the five-minute motion hearing the lawyers are blaming AI, and as Sy Gaer might have said, are muttering mea culpa and that it's "A sad and tragic mistake that will not happen again" (of course Sy would never have used AI).
But until now the civil judges were powerless, something akin to them getting the check at lunch at Joes- a very uncomfortable feeling for them. They could find that the lawyer violated Bar rules for candor towards the court and to prepare for hearings, but they could not impose a fine, and ahhh therein lied the rub, because what's a good civil case without the threat of sanctions?
So now, our civil friends have to sign the pleading with the certification and when a fake AI case slips through, your favourite civil robe wearer can do what makes them happiest (because in civil court they cannot impose a max sentence after trial), they can impose Sanction$ !!!
So pull up your motions to suppress and dismiss and continue and rules to show cause and include the certification on every motion and thank your civil friends for once again making the practice of law even harder than it should be.
And don't forget to add to all your criminal motions the Victim Certification "I hereby certify that I fully understand the victim wants the max!"
Here is the Admin Order.
Administrative Order No. 26-04 Disclosure of Use of Generative AI by Anonymous PbHV4H
BLOG CERTIFICATION
The undersigned certifies that all factual assertions, legal authority, and citations have been made by the blogger without use of any legal authority or Artificial Intelligence and without much concern for factual or legal accuracy.
H Rumpole, Blog Proprietor
Good Sunday morning. There's a lot going on in the world and the sporting world, so let's get to it.
A massive winter ❆storm is hitting the middle section of the country and the president has squarely laid the blame on the small Caribbean island of Antigua, demanding they surrender their island for reparations. "No one has ever seen anything like this storm, and the democrats and Antigua are to blame" said the president on his social media platform bullshit for beanbrains.
China's dictator Xi Jinping eviscerated the top leadership of the People's Liberation Army, announcing investigations into China's top generals Zhang Youxia and Liu Zhenli. Zhang's removal is the most shocking, as he and Xi are childhood friends and he was one of only a few PLA generals who had combat experience, leading a division in the lengthy boarder war with Vietnam that started in 1979. Investigations in China are similar to those announced by US Attorney General Pam Bondi- closed minded affairs with the filing of charges a forgone conclusion. The difference is that in the US we have a (semi for now) independent judiciary, but Bondi and the president are doing their level best to change that.
As for the NFL we have two intriguing games on tap. First up is the Cheaters at Denver who lost their star QB on a freak play at the end of the game. We are betting with our heart, not our head and taking the Broncos at home +4.5. Fun fact. Cheaters have never won a playoff game in the Mile High stadium. They are an 0-4. The weather is a chilly 10 degrees with mild wind that will make it feel like 0. If you want to have some fun, bet Bronco QB Jarret Stidham to have over 209 passing yards.
The best game of the day is LA at Seattle. Defense wins championships. Period. End of story. And the Seahawks have quietly built the best defense in the NFL. That D will be up against arguably the best player in the NFL this year- the fun-name-to-say Puka Nakua. The Seahawks are a paltry -2.5 favorite mostly because Vegas books see a big chance for Seahawks QB Sam Darnold to screw is up, while Rams QB Matthew Stafford has been there (and NFC championship game) and done that (won). It is really hard for us to pick against a great D. Steelers. Ravens. 85 Bears. 86 and 90 Giants with Lawrence Taylor.
The totals in both games are tough as well. 43 in Denver (weather related) and 46 in Seattle (will the D hold up against Stafford and Nakua?)
We may just sit this one out and enjoy the game for its entertainment value, as hard as that seems to believe. But if you are not suffering like us through the last week of Dry January and will be enjoying a few 🍺 watching the games and eating 🐔wings and pizza 🍕, then you have to take the Seahawks -2.5.
This is the last NFL football Sunday of 2025, and it has been a fun one. It may also be our last blogging about it. And if that is the case, we truly thank you for tuning in and reading all these years. It has been fun. As championship Golfer Gary Player wisely says about his rules of life, change is the price of survival.
We received these two comments and are posting both in their entirety.
The Judge goes first:
It's been a long time since we've had a chance to take a deep dive into arrant judicial arrogance. So a big thank you to our subject of today's post. Now we don't have to write about Davos.
Word has reached us, that much like an appointed US attorney who refuses judicial orders to be removed (see here) County Court Judge Marcus Richard Bach-Armas has stopped allowing Zoom in his fiefdom court.
First the basics. Florida Rule of Criminal Procedure 3.116(c)(1) requires judges to allow Zoom for short non-evidentiary hearings upon request.
Next comes the Judge's remarkable order, dated January 6 (we tell you over and over that these guys spend the holidays ruminating on how they can be tougher) basically threatening the Clerk's Office and the Administrative Office of the Courts with "sanctions" because they have not removed the zoom information on his notices to litigants for court hearings. Now we do not (yet) have inside information, but what we are assuming is the Clerks are having a bit of trouble printing the tens of thousands of notices that go out every month using one form for every judge in the County with zoom information, and now creating a second form for this primadonna judge. And word to the wise- F with the clerks, and no matter what you consider a win will end up being a loss. From lost files to repeated absences due to illness and a million insider tricks, the clerk's office like the Grand Canyon has been around long before you and will be here long after you are gone. They always win in the end.
2026-01-06 Bach ORDER Directing Clerks Delete Zoom by Anonymous PbHV4H
Maybe it's the melancholy we are experiencing as we wind down our practice and separate files for shredding. (1998 Drug trafficking acquittal- shred. 2002 White Collar Fraud Trial in LA- shred. 2006 murder acquittal in Broward- we never wanted to see that judge's name again- shred). But before engaging in the shredding of this order, we will make an impassioned plea.
Dear Judge.
You handle misdemeanors. MIS-DE-MEAN-ORS. To paraphrase Judge Kathleen Williams- the red-headed stepchild of the criminal justice system (she was talking about the Federal PDs office when she said it, but the analogy fits and we love Judge Williams-who doesn't?).
The world does not stop to see your ruling on resisting without. No one cares what happens to the loitering or prowling, or possession of marijuana, or (our favourite) the under-sized snook case. If the Florida Legislature had listened to us years ago, you'd be adjudicating former third-degree felonies, while misdemeanors are reduced to civil infractions. But no- you have to convene a jury because the state (victim wants max) wants to try the assault via a thrown bag of potato chips (a real case we saw).
So here is our plea. The unrepresented defendants, not to mention victims, who appear in your court are mostly from the lower socio-economic sphere of our society. Many do not have a car or a license. Even more are working a job and two or three side-gig hustles to make ends meet. Many are single parents. They do not have the luxury of time to spend the morning driving, paying for gas and then parking, and then missing out on work they do not get paid for to sit in your court for an hour waiting for their case to be called only to be told to return in three weeks for trial. Zoom saves them. It also saves the environment because it removes cars and gas emissions from the roads (although we know in this environment the mention of helping the environment will damage your chances to be appointed to the 3rd DCA because of the environment in Tallahassee). Most of the unrepresented defendants who appear before you do not own a Tesla.
Now we get the judicial/legal sleight of hand. If the Clerks/AOC remove the Zoom notice, then most unrepresented defendants (and some of your former colleagues who are now back to practicing law) will not know enough to request a Zoom hearing because they haven't read rule 3.116(c)(1).
And this (as Bruce Springsteen sings in 10th Avenue Freeze out during concerts) is the important part. We get you do not like Zoom (although we do not know why). But taking advantage of the ignorance of unrepresented defendants (and some of your former colleagues) is just wrong. It violates the spirit of what the Supreme Court did (after a massive amount of pro bono work by our colleague Judge Faccidomo, Esq) to allow the court system to work more efficiently, and make it easier for that unrepresented single mom who is working 17 hours a day to appear before you without the time and expense of traveling to Court.
So maybe re-think your order? Hand out candy like retired Judge Pooler did to people who appeared in her court. But don't remove the notice, take a gummie or meditate before court and get through zoom. The weight of public opinion and technology are against you. This is no Churchillian fight from the back bench warning of the German build-up in their air force in the 1938. This is an order that will actually hurt the people who appear before you. And despite your chosen profession, no one should intentionally want to hurt poor people through the performance of their job. Leave that for the ASA drones moaning victim wants max all day long. Do justice instead.
And now our offer- maybe we have this wrong. Maybe the handwringing emails on the FACDL listserv have it wrong and you are simply and tragically misunderstood. So we invite you to respond. Send us an email and we promise two things- one -it will be posted in toto with no editing (as long as there are no curse words) and two- the comments will be moderated to allow only a fair debate on your actions- no trashing will be allowed.
Yours, etc.
H Rumpole, Esq., Blog Proprietor.
PS: we really liked trying cases before your mother. She was a great judge.
Good Tuesday morning. If you're a big UM fan and not one of those bandwagon posers who bought up the tickets for the naty championship game (we overheard this from some middle age UM chippy 10k ticket buyer at the Hardrock/Dove Soap Stadium I like it when they try the three-point throws), then you are recovering from a tough loss. But have heart- UM is back and they will be back in a championship game. They have built a great program and were driving late in the 4th quarter for a championship against one of the great college football teams of all time.
Despite a lo$ing weekend of NFL bets, we rallied and recovered most of our losses with an over 46.5 bet that Indiana's last field goal secured for us. Whew. Like UM, we are back.
What a job Curt Cignetti did for Indiana. He took one of the all-time losingest programs in college football, a program that hasn't been ranked in the top ten since Lyndon Johnson was president (and now a bunch of 30 something DeSantis drones are asking ChatGPT when ?) and built them in two years into an undefeated championship team. Their Heisman winning Miami-native QB was never recruited by UM, and Jamari Sharpe, who is another Miami native and made the game winning interception for Indiana is the nephew of UM defensive back Glenn Sharpe who was called for pass interference that lost UM's last championship in the Fiesta Bowl in 2003 against Ohio State. All in all a classic game last night.
MARKET WATCH
The Market is on shaky ground this morning (with a sharp down opening because of the news that is affecting a market that has been overbought the last ten days) as traders digest the president's threats (again) to raise tariffs against Europe unless they agree to ship the Eiffel Tower to Central Park, surrender all North Sea oil leases, and give up Greenland. The Tariffs include 200% on French Wines (ouch). Make of this what you will, but we note that the last time the president's tariffs drove down the market in April 2025 we scooped up NVDA shares in the mid 90's (it's now 185 ish). The Vix (fear index) opened over 20 which is a good indication there will be more sellers than buyers, which brings to mind the best saying of the greatest investor of all time- Warren Buffet- When people are greedy be fearful, when people are fearful be greedy. With those wise words in mind, there will be values in the market today and we are buyers. AMAT, ANET, AVGO, GOOG. and the banks including JPM, BAC, and MS are on our shopping list. Keep your eye on CoreWeave (CRWV)- Potus just bought a bunch for whatever that is worth.
Well here we are finally. The U in another National Championship game, and lo and behold it is in Miami. Well, nearby.
Good thing we did not post our NFL picks for this weekend. We LOST every game we picked, which meant it was hard seltzer for dinner instead of Opus One. Well, it would have been neither since we are doing Dry January, but we can't buy a nice Opus for dinner for Feb 1 unless we can end this mush losing streak we are on. We did hit some nice three-leg parlays in wildcard weekend, but lost it all this weekend. And BTW The Bills were ROBBED. That was a catch. Cook caught the ball. His knee was down when he had possession. Period. End of discussion. The Bills were robbed by idiot refs.
Sometime in September 2024 a close friend whispered "Indiana" in our ear, and we went on a spectacular run. The public and the books didn't catch up to this trend until about the middle of this year. So we owe a whole lot to Indiana. And despite the front-running phonies this town is loaded with- Ex I being the absurdly high rates for a seat at Hard Roc/Tyson Chicken Nuggets Stadium tonight, we always back U of M when we can.
The +7.5 for U M looks juicy. And if you're a big UM fan take it. Maybe Indiana is up by ten with three minutes and there's a UM TD and back door cover. Personally we think Indiana is the better team and we are going to lay the 7.5. But it's not something we have a lot of conviction on. We like the over 46.5 better.
Enjoy the Game!
Coming next: The President demands the pacific island of Nauru and threatens Russia "If they don't return Alaska."
MLK on 60 Minutes in 1968.
We will have our National Championship analysis up later today.