NFL WEEK 6 2025

 We enter week 6 with a healthy bankroll thanks to the Indiana Hoosiers going on the road Saturday and beating #3 Oregon.  We had the money line +225 and it wasn't even close.  Then we spent our winning at Sunny's Steakhouse. 

The week opens with yet another 9 am game in London. The hapless 0-5 J E T S jets jets jets are looking for their first win against the Broncos. "Not bloody likely mate" as they saw in the Eastend.  If you need the action, lay the 7 and take Denver. Otherwise the over 43.5 is doable, but that half point is bothering us. Tease is down with a cupa tea and a scone.  Off topic, but does anyone really like a scone? It's like eating sawdust. 

We do not like a lot of the spreads today. 

Maybe the Fins at home +4.5 over the up and down Chargers. 

Over 46 Arizona (which has been our biggest disappointment) at Indy.

Under 48.5 Cowboys at Carolina. 

Under 42 Tennessee at Vegas, and take da Raiders -4. 

Under 44.5 the sinking Bungles at Green Bay. Flacco, who recently qualified for social security, but could not get the money because the government is shutdown and Dodge closed all the offices except the one in Ogunquit, Maine,  is not the answer. 

As our friend and now podcaster Mike Francesca said on his pod Friday, if you're a football fan, you love the Lions at KC Sunday night game.   We're going ride or die with KC and taking them as a home dog +2.5. 

And finally the Bills -4 at Atlanta for the first of two MNF games looks a bit low. We are taking now as that number is going to drop. 

And call us crazy, but ds Bears are a bit better than people are giving them credit for, and the commies a bit worse, so Chicago +4.5 at DC. 

Did someone say a MNF parlay Bills -4 + Bears +4.5? Yup! We did. 

SURVIVOR 

We told you last week it was tough pickings. The field was decimated with seven players going down, all of whom didn't use their bye and a few had an extra bye. You can outsmart yourself in Survivor very easily, as the results of last week show. This week it's all Packers and Steelers, two home favourites. 

week 6 by Anonymous PbHV4H

As always, Fake Alex Michaels has appealed his loss, which he does every year, to no avail. But we admire his pluck, as would Alex, rest in peace. 

REMARKABLE JUDGE FARUQUI

 There is a remarkable Magistrate Judge sitting in DC.  His name is Zia M. Faruqui , and his actions must be astounding to the Desantis drones we have here in Florida. 

In recent weeks, Judge Faruqui has called out federal prosecutors for making an end run around a federal grand jury. When a federal grand jury refused to indict a defendant on a gun case, the prosecutors ran to a DC jury and got the indictment. The NY Times article is here. 

“I am not a rubber stamp, as frustrating as that may be to the government,” he said

We can hear the drones gasping. "Wait! Prosecutors charged someone and the judge didn't accept the charges??? Can he do that? And wouldn't that perhaps stop him from getting an appointment to the district court? Why in the world would a judge publicly help a defendant and hurt himself in the process?" 

Judge Zia Faruqui is pretty much our new favourite federal judge. 

But wait! There's more! 

Here's a remarkable order in which Judge Faruqui questions the truthfulness, reasonableness, and downright intelligence of  law enforcement officers who stopped and searched a man of color, who was well dressed and in an upscale mall, for....wait for it...adjusting his backpack!!!

From the order (the link to the order is here) 

This was an illegal search.

 Before the first opportunity to have its case pressure tested, the government folded. The U.S. Attorney admitted to “mov[ing] to dismiss the charges once she was shown body camera footage of the arrest on Friday. 

...

Riley was wearing a backpack. Officers found that suspicious because it looked as if something heavy was inside of it. See Compl. ¶ 3. Isn’t that the point of backpacks: to carry heavy things, like laptops, books, etc.? The body worn camera from the officer shows how mundane the backpack appears...

 Adjusting a backpack is neither a crime, nor does it give rise to reasonable suspicion of one. Elementary-school experience and the caselaw support that. 

OMG! we can hear the drones exclaiming. A judge that has issued a ruling against the prosecution and police with the type of common sense he says one acquires in elementary school. He is surely sunk. He will never get elevated with opinions like that.

So there you have it. A judge who most certainly isn't a drone simply calling balls and strikes where every call favors the prosecution. And in 2025 to boot! Imagine that. 

CLUELESS FOR 500

 Querry: You need to set a video conference meeting. What App/Platform are you using? 

If you are 98% of the normal and intelligent world, you are sending a Zoom link. 

BUT, if you are an obstinate doofus, who wants to be different and make things difficult for everyone else, then you use Microsoft Teams. 

Now, here's the easy/tough part. Which entities fit the above description? 

Time for a little Jeopardy. (Cue music) 

Jeopardy Contestant: "Ken, I'll take clueless entities for five hundred." 

Ken Jennings (host of Jeopardy) "And the answer is, these two organizations are so difficult, clueless, and out of the mainstream, they use Microsoft Teams instead of Zoom." 

Jeopardy Contestant: "Umm, uhh, who is the United States Government, and ummm....hmmmm...."

Ken Jennings "Five seconds" 

Jeopardy Contestant: "And..ahh...hmmm. Oh! The Eleventh Judicial Circuit of Miami! Whew." 

Ken Jennings "Correct! And just in the nick of time."

Jeopardy Contestant: "I'll take clueless entities for a thousand."

Ken Jennings: "This clueless entity's Teams service is currently down...again."

Jeopardy Contestant: "Umm...who is the Eleventh Judicial Circuit?"

Ken Jennings: "Correct. We threw you a curve ball with the last two answers being the same." 

Yes folks, your favourite Miami Judge cannot answer emails, write DENIED on their MS Word program or check in with other judges on Teams because their server/program ain't working (add your favourite pun about the user also not working as usual.) 

So currently, the US Government is closed, and Miami Judges cannot use their Microsoft products. How will the civilized world survive? 

But no worries, Nvidia ran nicely today so all is right with Rumpole's world. 

TNF

Nice game on tonight. Giants at Eagles. The Philly squad is coming off a letdown loss this weekend, while the Gints had the game against New Orleans as much in hand as a judge grabbing the last free po-boy off the tray at the buffet. But the Giants blew the game, and Rumpole's bet. 

The  Giants are getting 7.5 and that may be enough for a backdoor cover with a later TD, but the better play is the over 40. 

We are also trying to rebuild our bankroll which has been seriously hurt by the Phillies and Yankees by picking under 36.5 yards rushing for  Giant QB Dart, over Barkley rushing for 83.5 yards, and just a few few dollars on Gints rookie Skateebo rushing for over 46.5 yards. 

With a couple of hard seltzers and a Di Fara pizza, we are starting the holiday weekend early. 

FIRST MONDAY IN OCTOBER

   It's that day again. The day when every county court judge recalls all the great things people said about them at their investiture and they dream of the day when writing           "Wh & cc" becomes "the petitioner's writ for certiorari to the United States Supreme Court is hereby DENIED!

It's the First Monday In October, when, by tradition, the *Trump Supreme Court convenes and meets for the first time of the year after the summer recess. 

Here's a neat article by retired Justice Anthony Kennedy, who, apparently had so much free time whilst serving on the Court that he was able to read the correspondence of Chief Justice Hughes during the construction of the Supreme Court building and learned that the words engraved above the entrance "Equal Justice Under Law" was not plucked from some learned decision by Justice Marshall, but was in fact added by the construction company because...steady now...it fit!

So what's on the docket? Glad you asked.   

The Right Of The President to Order The Artillery Shelling Of Sheboygan, Wisconsin. "If the President thinks a simple bombardment of a city that mocks him is necessary for national security, who are we to stop him?" wrote Justice Kavanaugh in accepting cert. 

The Right Of The FDA to Ban Painkillers.  Colloquially called the "Suck it up baby" case, the Court examines whether the right to effective pain management is written anywhere in the *Trump Bill of Rights.

The Right Of The FDA to Ban Antibiotics.  Similar to the previous case, but with some significant differences. Justice Alito fought to accept the case, employing the close scrutiny analysis of "Do you know what's in that stuff these doctors give you? Neither do I, and thus it should be banned."  This case has achieved a certain amount of notoriety because of the  leaked email of Justice Sotomayor, who wrote Alito "Are you out of your ever-loving F'ing mind?"  The case is being called the "Return America to the Dark Ages" case, where science and scientists are once and for all rejected by the Supreme Court. 

The Constitutionality of the Congressional Funding of the January 6 Heros Monument. In a move that surprised most court watchers, the Court agreed to examine the bill authorizing the federal funding of a monument to all of the people who stormed the US Capitol on January 6. "Re-writing reality is a fundamental part of what we are being told to do by the President" wrote Justice Thomas, in arguing to take up the case.

The Ban The EPA case, is also causing some excitement. "Who created the EPA?" asked Chief Justice Roberts. "Nixon!, And if that doesn't tell you all you need to know about the fake pollution and global warming bill of goods we have been sold for decades, then nothing will. Dumping fun chemicals in drinking water should be left to the solid and good discretion of the companies who have made the chemicals in the first place." 

 And finally 

The Criminality Of Running For Election ,  case looks closely at the right of the President to order the arrest and indictment of "certain individuals running for election."  Justice Coney Barrett (motto: "The name is Coney, NOT Comey...") wrote that "With the wrong people running for election, we get elections stolen like what happened in Georgia and Pennsylvania and Nevada in 2020." 

So there you have it. With some slight exaggeration, this is the state of the law in our country in 2025. Welcome to the dark ages, shepherded in via the mumbo jumbo of six people with no backbone, pride, or common sense. 

Let the shelling of Sheboygan and other renegade cities begin!

Ready. Aim....FIRE! 

*Renamed by executive order in 2025.  

NFL WEEK 5 2025

 If you can jump on the over the 35 Vikings/Browns in London do so. (10-7 at the half and Vikings may be down to a third-string rookie QB, endangering our bet and our wine selection for next week - see below.  Carson Wentz just has no luck as a starting QB in the NFL. Sheesh). 

Update: One TD away in the 4th Q from cashing and starting out our Sunday with a win$.

UPDATE: BANG! With that late Viking TD we ca$h the over!

Yesterday was shaping up to be a great day, with our picks of the Brewers and Blue Jays hitting easily. And then the Dodgers staged a late comeback, spoiling our three-team parlay for 200 units that put us slightly in the red. 

This is a very tough week for NFL picks. Not a whole lot jumps out. 

Colts at home -7 is too many points, but we have no faith in the Raiders (although their rookie RB has started to pick up some yards and TDs, helping us in fantasy). 

The Eagles are the best team in football, but they are not going undefeated. Are the Broncos +4 a trap game for Philly? Could be.  We are putting a few cheesesteaks on the Eagles, but not a whole dinner. 

We are tired of losing money on the Cowboys. But the J E T S are just not a very good football team. Are they worth a few knishes as a home dog +1.5?

Here's our pick. The NY football Giants, getting 1.5 on the road against the Saints. And under 42. The Gints have a top five defense and their rookie QB looked not bad. They have a hellish schedule coming up, including the Eagles, 72 Dolphins, Chiefs, and 78 Steelers. So this is a winnable game for them and they know it. 

We like the Bills at home over the cheaters for the Sunday night game, which we will watch sipping an Opus One courtesy of our winnings the past few weeks. The 7.5 is worrisome, so we are teasing it down a point. 

And we like the resurgent Chiefs -3 on the road at Jax. There's life in this team yet. And it's the MNF game so there's plenty of time to ponder the pick. 

MLB Playoffs. 

Phillies at home +1.5; ditto Brewers over Cubs. (games are Monday). Two years ago we made a small fortune on their Playoff run and we are looking to replicate our success.  

Yanks and their ace Max Fried to bounce back against Toronto. They lost the first game to the Red Sox in the previous series before winning the next two.  We don't like giving up 1.5 but that's the standard line in baseball. 

Speaking of which, the Phillies were down by two with bases loaded in the 8th yesterday and all we needed was one run to cross the plate for our nice three figure parlay to payoff. But alas mighty Casey struck out (or in this case a weak fly ball to left ended the inning). 

SURVIVOR POOL

We lost one player last week. This week the Colts are the popular pick, while Rumpole wisely chooses his bye in the difficult week. Public Pretender realized the mistake of picking Broncos for the second time last week and timely changed to the Fins and remains alive. As always, if you make a mistake and have enough to Z$ell, we will accommodate you. 

week 5 by Anonymous PbHV4H

YEA OR NAY

 And it's another edition of our famous "Yea or Nay" game. This is the (mostly) ALDS and NLDS edition. 

Brewers -Yea! Cubs -Nay. 

Blue Jays Yea! Yanks-Nay. 

Dodgers with Ohtani pitching? Nay. Phillies Yay! 

And the last pitcher to get a hit in a playoff game was not Babe Ruth. It's some guy in 2020 before baseball ruined itself and went to all DH all the time. 

Seattle Mariners Yea! Detroit Tigers Nay. 

Taylor you know who and The Life of a Showgirl? (Steady now)- a big chunky NAY 

Bruce Springsteen and Deliver Me From Nowhere- A BIG BOSS YEA! 

"Well they blew up the chicken man in Philly last night..." 

Such a brilliant opening to a song of discontent and sadness. 

And if you want your question on Rumpole's Yea or Nay, just shoot us an email and we will most likely ignore it as we do this entirely for our own amusement and could care less about what our readers think. 

ATLANTIC CITY

RAINY WEEKEND

Make sure you read the previous post so you can update your favourite judge about the 2nd DCA's en banc decision this week that the smell of marijuana is not probable cause.  

We are in for a rainy weekend as per Hank and Roy, two guys who have agreed to cover the National Weather Service in between their shifts at Costco, as the NWS fires most employees during the shutdown for "spreading malicious and false rumors about so-called global warming". 

Hank and Roy think that there will be rain all weekend here in South Florida because of "like, dude, some weather thing that is like nearby in the ocean". 

In other weekend news, the Government is still shut down. The Yankees beat the Red Sox and advance to the divisional series, and the Cubs eeked out a win over the Padres and will now face the team with the best record in MLB: your Milwaukee Brewers.  In probably the best series scheduled, the Dodgers and the Phillies face off, and (yawn) Detroit plays Seattle. At this rate the World Series will start in December. 

Our picks? Yanks, Brew-crew, Phillies (Dodgers have no bullpen), and Seattle.  The WS? Seattle vs Phillies. Winner? Phillies. 

Your Miami Dolphins head to Carolina as one-point favourites, and our advice is to jump on the Fins now before you have to give more points by Sunday. 

Stay tuned as Hank and Roy stock those shelves at Costco and do their best to provide weather updates in the dark ages of the USA where scientists are the enemy. 

 

SOMETHING (DOESN'T) SMELL RIGHT

 The Second DCA leads the way. 

The now, oh so familiar scent of marijuana is no longer probable cause.  The decision is en banc (literally "a whole bunch of us, like all of us, thought about this for a really long time")

Opinion Smell Marijuana by Anonymous PbHV4H

YOU SHALL AFFLICT YOURSELF

 

• "And it shall be a statute to you forever, that in the seventh month, on the tenth   day of the month, you shall afflict yourselves and shall do no work... For on this day shall atonement be made for you to cleanse you.   You shall be clean before the Lord from all your sins."
• Leviticus 16:29-31

And it shall be to you that on the first day of October, all government work shall cease and you shall afflict yourself and not pay government workers nor shall the government be funded for on this day it shall be made for the dear leader to end all government  services and you shall be in the wealthiest country in the world with no longer the capacity to make vaccines, pay social security, employ scientists, or clean up polluted areas. But upon Portland shall you make war. 

SHUTDOWN

 The government is shutdown. What does that mean? Glad you asked. 

Q: Will the judges still come to court and work? 

A: Unfortunately, yes. 

Q: What about jury trials? 

A: You should try and win them. 

Q: What about the IRS? 

A: They have funding for a week, after that - f -em. 

Q: How long will this last? 
A: Rumpole says the two sides will not come to a resolution until at least the third week of October. 

Q: What about the stock market?
A: Generally, the market shrugs off Gov shutdowns. We are watching some stocks that we like that have government contracts like Palantir. If they fall, we are a buyer. 

Q: Will this affect the football season? 

A: Are you crazy? The politicians will let social security payments stop and the FDA stop issuing warnings about health issues, but on important matters like the Cleveland Browns switching QBs this weekend, nothing will get in the way of that. It's in the bible and Constitution you know. 

Some Government shutdown headlines. 

The Dear Leader is taking advantage of the shutdown to clean up some messy matters.     For example, he fired Vermont: "Everyone says to get rid of Vermont. What do they do? We don't need maple syrup, and they have communist senators, so I have fired the state. Canada can have Vermont if they are stupid enough to take it."

The Dear Leader also announced the invasion of Portland. "October first will be remembered must like June 6, where brave soldiers invaded a dangerous territory to fight for freedom. No longer will the thugs of Portland be able to roam the streets cursing the President."

And finally, the Dear Leader cut off all federal funds for New York. "They want to elect a commie? Watch what I do. Plus, the government is shut down, so there is no money. Invite me to the UN and stop escalator will you? Try getting around when there is no money for the subway or buses. But we are going to keep open those .99 cent pizza places open. Everyone says it's great pizza, and also Papaya Dog. Nothing better than a papaya juice and hot dog, even in a city run by commies."